It never really hit me that someone I loved was gone from my life till I came home from school one day and they just weren't there anymore. How do you explain death to a child? I don't recall having anyone give me an explanation. So I came to understand it by myself through my own perception.
When I was 7, My grandfather passed away during my first month of primary school. If I recall correctly, he was confined in bed during his last few days. During that time, I was spending my holiday in KL with my cousin. I had yet to return since I suppose that time no one bothered to think about getting a kid like me back home since it's not like I can help out much anyway. But somehow, I miraculously ended up in the hospital where my grandfather lay. It seems that he was reluctant to go without seeing someone. The adults couldn't figure out who, even the cousin from overseas rushed back, who else could it be. Turns out, It was me. Why me? I don't know. No really, I don't. I didn't even know what was happening, my sister was peeling skin off the grapes for my grandfather and my relatives were crowded at the end of his bed. In contrast of the visitors for the other patients, seems that grandpa's section looked the most lively. But not for long.
It never really occurred to me that he was gone for good, not even when I came home from school to see a coffin where my grandfather lay in satin nor when they moved the coffin and forbade children from participating in the burial. I suppose now I knew why, I would've freaked out and started screaming for them to stop. For them to stop and realize that my grandfather was in the box and it was not okay to bury him in the dirt, playtime was over so why won't they let him out?
Even after being old enough to tag along during the burial ceremony of a few of my relatives, I wished I didn't have to go. One that really hit me the most is during my aunt's funeral, we were all fine and dandy throughout the whole thing, till the moment they pushed her coffin behind closed doors and all we could see was flame from the other side. I was 12. And man did I cry like the little girl I was, Of course I got scolded by my aunts who were in tears as well.
Back then, I suppose, To me, death meant not being able to see someone anymore. When I came home from school and all that's left in the corner of grandfather's usual place in the shop was his blue plastic chair. No more old man with a jolly smile and black frames on his nose, not even the sight of his trusty umbrella in which he uses to stash money at times. I didn't have to call him for lunch, nor did I had to make up sign languages to get him to understand me anymore. My limited Hokkien never seemed to be a problem for me to converse with him, I just acted out whatever I had to tell him and he understood or maybe pretended to. But there was no need for that anymore. No more random trips for Soya bean and Pao in the evenings.
I remember every time I come back from school secretly crying over something, I would ask for him between sobs. I would keep on asking where he was and why he wasn't here, only to be answered by thin air and the sound of my own despair. I don't know why I did it, I just did. But once my mom told me that he comes back as a white butterfly once in a while to check on us, I never really did cry as much anymore. I just believed her without questioning anything, but somehow every once in a while a white butterfly roamed about at home. Which I would always assume to be my grandfather or any other ancestor.
So yeah, there you have it. My perception of death. Which in a way has a somewhat happy ending with souls coming back as white butterflies.
In memoir of my grandfather, branded for being mischievous and clumsy. But all in all a jolly man who is a kid at heart. May you rest in peace.
Showing posts with label Life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life lessons. Show all posts
Monday, 31 August 2015
Friday, 7 March 2014
Pentarafan pengakap raja "sequel"
So this is the detailed version of what I can remember about stuff before pentarafan since I don't think I wanna forget about it in the future and then regret on why I didn't blog it.
Lets start from waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before pentarafan :P (few months b4)
I remember the joy of getting through ujian sikap pengakap raja, that was hell on earth >.< till this day I can still feel the sorrow and hardship of that very camp in my bones -_- So after USPR, life was hectic.
The worst part was juggling between school and training.We had to stay back every tuesday to train, train how to dance, train how to read a compass, train how to do a knot, train how to set up campsite, train how to cook , just train ,train and train. lol. I would've gone choo choo if it weren't for my awesome scout peeps :)
Other than that was trying to find a way to go home after training.. sometimes the abang van would leave me T^T.. I had to take the taxi sometimes because the bastard decided to leave me behind -_- . Next was the problem of getting stuff that I need like raw materials and tools. I remember walking to Giant (god damned far T^T) to get my supplies. I didn't want my sister to take the fact that I need her help to buy stuff to be the reason why I can't go for camp. And so I walked home with a heavy supplies hoping that she isn't home yet ._. lol. Hahaha, I remember doing logbook in a pitch black room with only the table lamp on at night so that my family wouldn't say that king's scout is taking too much of my time.
Not to mention the times when I just come back from camp feeling burnt and drop dead tired and still force myself to go to school the next day while my friends skip school ._. Hard times man ._. Not a word like "I'm tired " "I have a lot of logbook" or "camp was hard" was uttered to my family. Of course majority of that time I was god damned depressed every day hoping my family wouldn't stop me from pursuing king's scout. (grateful to tung,ceiling and osum ppl) *name changed for protection :P*
My whole chinese new year was spent making a first aid kit and chopping and shaving bamboo for model perintis. I would like to thank my dad for all the help he gave me secretly whilst I did all these projects :) To be honest, I'm not very good at nailing stuff, so my first aid kit looked crappy ._. If it were to duel with an lunch box, it will surely lose =/ But when I checked my first aid kit the next day, there were loads of additions that instantly made it look like a first aid kit fit for war. "legs" , "hooks", "handle" , and heck even a "drawer lock" . ( THANKIEW SO MUCH DAD T^T) First aid kit was done in two days .
Model perintis took me one whole week.. yet again secretly helped by dad and his orang asli friend T^T.. thank you for helping me shave my poorly chopped bamboos until it looks like a million dollars while you guys did some catching up bout your lives .. (and man.. they were FAST, It would've took me another whole week just to shave the bamboos but they were like lightning fast mann .__. )
Thank god I have a supporting father when it really matters T^T .. Else I would've banged my head against a wall just to figure out how to go to camp with all my stuff.
lol , to all you peeps out there going thru hardship..
"Keep your final goal in mind, no matter how tough times are. Picture yourself achieving it :) It will fuel you with determination and hope :D "
Lets start from waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before pentarafan :P (few months b4)
I remember the joy of getting through ujian sikap pengakap raja, that was hell on earth >.< till this day I can still feel the sorrow and hardship of that very camp in my bones -_- So after USPR, life was hectic.
The worst part was juggling between school and training.We had to stay back every tuesday to train, train how to dance, train how to read a compass, train how to do a knot, train how to set up campsite, train how to cook , just train ,train and train. lol. I would've gone choo choo if it weren't for my awesome scout peeps :)
Other than that was trying to find a way to go home after training.. sometimes the abang van would leave me T^T.. I had to take the taxi sometimes because the bastard decided to leave me behind -_- . Next was the problem of getting stuff that I need like raw materials and tools. I remember walking to Giant (god damned far T^T) to get my supplies. I didn't want my sister to take the fact that I need her help to buy stuff to be the reason why I can't go for camp. And so I walked home with a heavy supplies hoping that she isn't home yet ._. lol. Hahaha, I remember doing logbook in a pitch black room with only the table lamp on at night so that my family wouldn't say that king's scout is taking too much of my time.
Not to mention the times when I just come back from camp feeling burnt and drop dead tired and still force myself to go to school the next day while my friends skip school ._. Hard times man ._. Not a word like "I'm tired " "I have a lot of logbook" or "camp was hard" was uttered to my family. Of course majority of that time I was god damned depressed every day hoping my family wouldn't stop me from pursuing king's scout. (grateful to tung,ceiling and osum ppl) *name changed for protection :P*
My whole chinese new year was spent making a first aid kit and chopping and shaving bamboo for model perintis. I would like to thank my dad for all the help he gave me secretly whilst I did all these projects :) To be honest, I'm not very good at nailing stuff, so my first aid kit looked crappy ._. If it were to duel with an lunch box, it will surely lose =/ But when I checked my first aid kit the next day, there were loads of additions that instantly made it look like a first aid kit fit for war. "legs" , "hooks", "handle" , and heck even a "drawer lock" . ( THANKIEW SO MUCH DAD T^T) First aid kit was done in two days .
Model perintis took me one whole week.. yet again secretly helped by dad and his orang asli friend T^T.. thank you for helping me shave my poorly chopped bamboos until it looks like a million dollars while you guys did some catching up bout your lives .. (and man.. they were FAST, It would've took me another whole week just to shave the bamboos but they were like lightning fast mann .__. )
lol , to all you peeps out there going thru hardship..
"Keep your final goal in mind, no matter how tough times are. Picture yourself achieving it :) It will fuel you with determination and hope :D "
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Life lessons : I know a lot, and yet I know nothing
Went to grandma's place today. As soon as I set foot in her house, immediately I was handed tasks and questioned whether or not I was hungry at least once every 15 minutes or so. Typical grandma x)
The task of the day was to harvest some long beans from her backyard farm. She kept on going about how I never picked a vegetable before in my life and yep ._. TRUE DAT. My grandma learnt some english today as well, from me? NOPE. my nephew was screaming at the eggplant (stands in front of the vegetable and literally screaming EGGPLANT!!!!!) it actually looked like he was blaming the eggplant for being purple. lol.
After long beans I was sent to pick some more vegetables that grew at the top of the stem. With a stool and my grandma's supervision, I was to tip toe - stretch - grab - repeat. Just as I grabbed the last one and took a good look at it, I saw a mini spider-like black stuff on that particular vegetable, I threw it away like it was the plague since I thought it was insect eggs. My grandma just stared at me started laughing at me while telling my mom how I shuddered and mistook vegetable seed for insect eggs. lol. Made fun of by two generations. GREAT. JUST GREAT. -_-
Anyways, grandma shared some life lessons such as "Don't ask man for food, ask the earth for food"
It actually made sense doesn't it? :3
The task of the day was to harvest some long beans from her backyard farm. She kept on going about how I never picked a vegetable before in my life and yep ._. TRUE DAT. My grandma learnt some english today as well, from me? NOPE. my nephew was screaming at the eggplant (stands in front of the vegetable and literally screaming EGGPLANT!!!!!) it actually looked like he was blaming the eggplant for being purple. lol.
After long beans I was sent to pick some more vegetables that grew at the top of the stem. With a stool and my grandma's supervision, I was to tip toe - stretch - grab - repeat. Just as I grabbed the last one and took a good look at it, I saw a mini spider-like black stuff on that particular vegetable, I threw it away like it was the plague since I thought it was insect eggs. My grandma just stared at me started laughing at me while telling my mom how I shuddered and mistook vegetable seed for insect eggs. lol. Made fun of by two generations. GREAT. JUST GREAT. -_-
Anyways, grandma shared some life lessons such as "Don't ask man for food, ask the earth for food"
It actually made sense doesn't it? :3
yes, that's my mom xD
Thursday, 12 December 2013
My funny teacher :)
When I was 4 or 5 , I ditched the local kindergarden halfway because the way they taught was by scolding and yelling , not only that but the place was either filthy or just plain unhygienic cause I remember returning home with a running nose or some disease.
Knowing that I needed something to do other than staying home all day watching TV and reading my bro's collection of doraemon comics, My mom sent me to tuition. The tuition is owned by a lady who we all call Teacher Amra. Teacher Amra is always smiling somehow, she's warm and hilarious. Unlike my previous kindergarden teachers, she seldom scold children. Instead, she tried to understand one's problem. This vast difference made me like her instantly, though I was never one to be naughty in class but being in the spot where you feel secured about not being scolded for something you didn't do really helps.
She speaks in a carefree manner, you'll always hear prim and proper english from her. Because of her, I never even dare to mouth the word "stupid" even though other kids were cursing each other with foul languages I failed to understand. But she likes to give her students nicknames , sometimes the nicknames were so funny I swear I'm glad she didn't give me one. She'd call a buff boy "satish-kurti "(don't exactly know how to spell it but whatever, kurti means small) because the fella used to be a small kid when he was young and grew up to be buff. I'd be lying if I said I was good in English naturally, coming from a chinese family , Teacher Amra was my only source of english education other than television and storybooks. For that, I'm sincerely grateful for all the effort she put in teaching me the language widely used in the world.
She kept moving from a place to another back then, the first time I went to her tuition , it was situated in a peaceful area. But what made that place mysterious and fun at the same time was her neighbor, the green monster. Teacher called him the green monster because he had a green car, green this, green that, green EVERYTHING. I've never seen green monster before because the fence was really high (and i was a teenie tiny kid). But I heard that he was a bad-tempered man, always quarreling for a small reason. (I don't know whether the rumors were true or not though). I think my favorite was still that house with a green monster living next to it. Kids could run around outside on the small patch of grass and say "HI" to Ginger. (Ginger is teacher's dog)
I just finished teaching my 4 year old niece some alphabets and when she told me alphabets weren't important, I got slightly emotional. I tried making her understand the importance of alphabets but sadly, It was of no use. She didn't have the heart to continue learning. I got back to my room and I thought,
"how in the world did teacher do it?"
I felt like I failed miserably at teaching. (Kudos to all teachers out there.) Even though I knew from the start I wasn't cut out for being a teacher anyway given my level of patience but it really feels dreadful . Teacher Amra was possibly the most fun teacher I had throughout the years, no one could beat her at that. Not only did she teach us english, she taught me manners and lots more. I remember the satisfaction and pride when I received those few stickers on my homework signaling a good job or a pen for completing dictation. She taught me that hard work will earn me not only rewards, but also appreciation. It made a big difference for a kid because people seldom realize that kids need appreciation as well.
She introduced us to this alien named MAMI. He has only one eye and has loads of problems. Sometimes he had a girlfriend, sometimes he had a car. MAMI was an alien she created to teach students english. I could still remember the one-eyed alien with the stickman figure till today.
I spent most of my birthdays at teacher's place. (while most of you celebrate it with a dinner with parents or a birthday party, I'm celebrating it in tuition with my tuition friends and teacher) I couldn't say I regret any of it, it was indeed something I cherished till now. Teacher Amra helped the birthday boy/girl cut the cake and sometimes even gave us presents. Funny how a small gift can brighten a person's day but it's true.
Others may call you umbrella due to some sort of failure of pronouncing the word amra (lol, I still don't get the umbrella joke till now), Maybe you're really mary poppins. Maybe all your students were actually jane and michael banks. (that really explains the umbrella thing doesn't it?) All in all, I sincerely thank teacher Amra for all her teachings. She will always be the funny teacher that taught me something more than just english.
Knowing that I needed something to do other than staying home all day watching TV and reading my bro's collection of doraemon comics, My mom sent me to tuition. The tuition is owned by a lady who we all call Teacher Amra. Teacher Amra is always smiling somehow, she's warm and hilarious. Unlike my previous kindergarden teachers, she seldom scold children. Instead, she tried to understand one's problem. This vast difference made me like her instantly, though I was never one to be naughty in class but being in the spot where you feel secured about not being scolded for something you didn't do really helps.
She speaks in a carefree manner, you'll always hear prim and proper english from her. Because of her, I never even dare to mouth the word "stupid" even though other kids were cursing each other with foul languages I failed to understand. But she likes to give her students nicknames , sometimes the nicknames were so funny I swear I'm glad she didn't give me one. She'd call a buff boy "satish-kurti "(don't exactly know how to spell it but whatever, kurti means small) because the fella used to be a small kid when he was young and grew up to be buff. I'd be lying if I said I was good in English naturally, coming from a chinese family , Teacher Amra was my only source of english education other than television and storybooks. For that, I'm sincerely grateful for all the effort she put in teaching me the language widely used in the world.
She kept moving from a place to another back then, the first time I went to her tuition , it was situated in a peaceful area. But what made that place mysterious and fun at the same time was her neighbor, the green monster. Teacher called him the green monster because he had a green car, green this, green that, green EVERYTHING. I've never seen green monster before because the fence was really high (and i was a teenie tiny kid). But I heard that he was a bad-tempered man, always quarreling for a small reason. (I don't know whether the rumors were true or not though). I think my favorite was still that house with a green monster living next to it. Kids could run around outside on the small patch of grass and say "HI" to Ginger. (Ginger is teacher's dog)
I just finished teaching my 4 year old niece some alphabets and when she told me alphabets weren't important, I got slightly emotional. I tried making her understand the importance of alphabets but sadly, It was of no use. She didn't have the heart to continue learning. I got back to my room and I thought,
"how in the world did teacher do it?"
I felt like I failed miserably at teaching. (Kudos to all teachers out there.) Even though I knew from the start I wasn't cut out for being a teacher anyway given my level of patience but it really feels dreadful . Teacher Amra was possibly the most fun teacher I had throughout the years, no one could beat her at that. Not only did she teach us english, she taught me manners and lots more. I remember the satisfaction and pride when I received those few stickers on my homework signaling a good job or a pen for completing dictation. She taught me that hard work will earn me not only rewards, but also appreciation. It made a big difference for a kid because people seldom realize that kids need appreciation as well.
She introduced us to this alien named MAMI. He has only one eye and has loads of problems. Sometimes he had a girlfriend, sometimes he had a car. MAMI was an alien she created to teach students english. I could still remember the one-eyed alien with the stickman figure till today.
I spent most of my birthdays at teacher's place. (while most of you celebrate it with a dinner with parents or a birthday party, I'm celebrating it in tuition with my tuition friends and teacher) I couldn't say I regret any of it, it was indeed something I cherished till now. Teacher Amra helped the birthday boy/girl cut the cake and sometimes even gave us presents. Funny how a small gift can brighten a person's day but it's true.
Others may call you umbrella due to some sort of failure of pronouncing the word amra (lol, I still don't get the umbrella joke till now), Maybe you're really mary poppins. Maybe all your students were actually jane and michael banks. (that really explains the umbrella thing doesn't it?) All in all, I sincerely thank teacher Amra for all her teachings. She will always be the funny teacher that taught me something more than just english.
Saturday, 31 August 2013
爸爸的早餐
早起的鸟儿有虫吃，被妈妈这么一说，我真想再补充多一句。。早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
爸爸是个典型的迟睡早起的人，常常摸黑就出门，晚上非得看完新闻才肯睡觉。七早八早就出门干什么呢？ 如今还是个未被揭开的迷题。肯定的是，每一次回来手上一定会拿着香喷喷的早餐。幼时的我很讨厌吃早餐，太早吃会让我感到不舒服。
有时爸爸还非要我把桌上的早餐吃下肚才肯载我上学。我通常会趁爸爸上厕所时偷偷地把一点早餐分给刚睡醒的大肥猫，好让它帮我减少吃早餐的痛苦。多亏大肥猫的合作，我勉强地能过爸爸的那一关。当然，妈妈也逐渐发现大肥猫经常没胃口却日复一日地增肥。妈妈终爱说爸爸偏心，只会买早餐给我，可是明明也有她那份也在里头。妈妈却爱自辩说是爸爸在买早餐给我时顺便买给她的。真是搞不懂大人的思想啊。。
后来爸爸因工作缘故显少再买早餐了，偶尔礼拜天才会执行他的“任务”。直到我上中学时的一天早上，背起书包准备上学的我碰见爸爸在厨房里头忙。他指了指桌上的早餐并说道：“吃了才去，吃不完带去学校吃。” 我连忙点头回应，朝桌上望去只见简单的面包煎蛋。没多想就随口咬几下然后把其他的都放入便当盒里去，与爸爸道别后再赶紧地往学校去。下课时再把便当拿出来时，朋友见我手上的食物便开始道：“哇，你酱有时间弄早餐啊？不是每天抱着哪怕能多睡一会儿都好的心态吗？” 。随口答了句：“爸爸的弄的” 便狼吞虎咽地把面包啃了下去。这时旁边的几位同学把目光转移到我身上去，七嘴八舌地对我说一连窜关与我爸爸会烹饪而且还会给我弄早餐的话题。
直到那一刻我才发现原来平时不下厨的爸爸竟然反常地为我弄早餐，哪怕只是简单的煎蛋与面包却表达了爸爸的心意。话说，爸爸的烹饪技术不差，反儿比我的好很多倍，真可惜没遗传到他那天份。终的来说，我身在福终不知福。所谓哀哀父母生我劬劳，身为孩子的我们应该要懂得感恩。
爸爸是个典型的迟睡早起的人，常常摸黑就出门，晚上非得看完新闻才肯睡觉。七早八早就出门干什么呢？ 如今还是个未被揭开的迷题。肯定的是，每一次回来手上一定会拿着香喷喷的早餐。幼时的我很讨厌吃早餐，太早吃会让我感到不舒服。
有时爸爸还非要我把桌上的早餐吃下肚才肯载我上学。我通常会趁爸爸上厕所时偷偷地把一点早餐分给刚睡醒的大肥猫，好让它帮我减少吃早餐的痛苦。多亏大肥猫的合作，我勉强地能过爸爸的那一关。当然，妈妈也逐渐发现大肥猫经常没胃口却日复一日地增肥。妈妈终爱说爸爸偏心，只会买早餐给我，可是明明也有她那份也在里头。妈妈却爱自辩说是爸爸在买早餐给我时顺便买给她的。真是搞不懂大人的思想啊。。
后来爸爸因工作缘故显少再买早餐了，偶尔礼拜天才会执行他的“任务”。直到我上中学时的一天早上，背起书包准备上学的我碰见爸爸在厨房里头忙。他指了指桌上的早餐并说道：“吃了才去，吃不完带去学校吃。” 我连忙点头回应，朝桌上望去只见简单的面包煎蛋。没多想就随口咬几下然后把其他的都放入便当盒里去，与爸爸道别后再赶紧地往学校去。下课时再把便当拿出来时，朋友见我手上的食物便开始道：“哇，你酱有时间弄早餐啊？不是每天抱着哪怕能多睡一会儿都好的心态吗？” 。随口答了句：“爸爸的弄的” 便狼吞虎咽地把面包啃了下去。这时旁边的几位同学把目光转移到我身上去，七嘴八舌地对我说一连窜关与我爸爸会烹饪而且还会给我弄早餐的话题。
直到那一刻我才发现原来平时不下厨的爸爸竟然反常地为我弄早餐，哪怕只是简单的煎蛋与面包却表达了爸爸的心意。话说，爸爸的烹饪技术不差，反儿比我的好很多倍，真可惜没遗传到他那天份。终的来说，我身在福终不知福。所谓哀哀父母生我劬劳，身为孩子的我们应该要懂得感恩。
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Just a thought : treated as an equal
Yet again one of the posts that will be talking bout my self discovered theories.
So I was out jogging (did I mention how much I hated to jog? ) and yep I failed since I don't have that much of a willpower :P anyways, back to the topic. I was out of the house in a sec with my sports attire and ipod, I took this way up the road where no car goes since it's a dead end to jog. While I passed by this playground, I sensed a pair of bored eyes upon me. No, it's not a stalker or a creep, its the one who's been to london to visit the queen and frightened a little mouse under her chair.Any ideas?
yep, It's a cat :D
So whats up with the cat?
Lets just say at first we were staring each other, then it dissapeared under a bush and then I ended up sitting on grass petting it. lol. Maybe its a cat person thing, lol. anyways, I'm naming it affection since she looks like she hasn't gotten this much affection since god knows when.
And then I got up since I realized i kinda defeated my purpose of jogging. I stood up and this idea flashed across my mind, why not take a walk with affection. So I gestured affection to follow, guess what?she did. It's a queer sight,really. You see a girl in her sports attire walking at a seemingly slow pace while stretching and right beside her, you'll see a brown furred cat walking by her side at the same pace. Whenever I quicken the pace unintentionally, she tries to keep up. When i stop, she'll just continue walking and growl at me (in a way that kinda sounds like shes urging me to stop slacking) I tried to control my pace since she's pregnant, lol. And so,human and cat went for an evening walk together.
My theory is.. if you treat another as an equal and respect it, the other will do the same too. No matter what or who they are. If a cat can do so, so can you. For those who don't return the same respect and attitude, that just plainly shows that even a cat can beat them in terms of moral etiquette .
So I was out jogging (did I mention how much I hated to jog? ) and yep I failed since I don't have that much of a willpower :P anyways, back to the topic. I was out of the house in a sec with my sports attire and ipod, I took this way up the road where no car goes since it's a dead end to jog. While I passed by this playground, I sensed a pair of bored eyes upon me. No, it's not a stalker or a creep, its the one who's been to london to visit the queen and frightened a little mouse under her chair.Any ideas?
yep, It's a cat :D
So whats up with the cat?
Lets just say at first we were staring each other, then it dissapeared under a bush and then I ended up sitting on grass petting it. lol. Maybe its a cat person thing, lol. anyways, I'm naming it affection since she looks like she hasn't gotten this much affection since god knows when.
And then I got up since I realized i kinda defeated my purpose of jogging. I stood up and this idea flashed across my mind, why not take a walk with affection. So I gestured affection to follow, guess what?she did. It's a queer sight,really. You see a girl in her sports attire walking at a seemingly slow pace while stretching and right beside her, you'll see a brown furred cat walking by her side at the same pace. Whenever I quicken the pace unintentionally, she tries to keep up. When i stop, she'll just continue walking and growl at me (in a way that kinda sounds like shes urging me to stop slacking) I tried to control my pace since she's pregnant, lol. And so,human and cat went for an evening walk together.
My theory is.. if you treat another as an equal and respect it, the other will do the same too. No matter what or who they are. If a cat can do so, so can you. For those who don't return the same respect and attitude, that just plainly shows that even a cat can beat them in terms of moral etiquette .
Saturday, 1 June 2013
Just a thought : smile :)
there's loads of facts about smiling. how many muscles it takes and whatsoever.
A smile can mean happiness, reassurance , greeting or just plain nothing.
I did this experiment, where i went jogging around the housing area (U JOG?! yes i do apparently, even though i hate it). The experiment was conducted to see people's reaction towards a smile.I smiled at everyone i passed by and the conclusion was.... drumroll please....
Majority smiled back as a natural response. It was effortless, natural and plain human.But how come only majority smiled back? thats because the minorities were people who either didn't see it or pretended that they didn't see it .Either they weren't use to it or they think I'm plain crazy. lol.
Focusing back on the majority would come from the elderly and young kids where else the youngsters around 20-30 were either too focused on their headphones or on the track , most of them didn't seem to respond like the others. To say that we live in a generation where one is too afraid to trust another to even smile is just plain sad or everyone is just too worried about themselves to care.
A smile doesn't hurt neither does it cost you a fortune, why not share it? keeping it would do no good.
Speaking of smiling, there are some people whose smile I can't really stand. Its.. unnatural and fake as hell. Not to say that bunch has bug tooth or sausage lips and whatever, but the fact that they smile in a way where their lip don't reach their eyes and their eyes don't smeyes (smiling eye).Its like.. they are afraid of showing the fact that they have small eyes or teeth. When you look at their pictures, you see them posing in every way and appearing like they are smiling behind the thickly coated make up. But you don't feel a thing, you don't feel the happiness nor the sadness.It's just a plain picture no matter how dressed up the person is , compare it to a picture of a kid giving a peace sign with ice cream smeared all over his face but still smiling even though with his two front teeth missing , in contrast, the latter radiates happiness and joy. Even though you may look good, when you look back to the picture one day and try to reminisce the old days, you won't feel a single connection to how you were feeling back then for it doesn't hold the energy of a true you.
Of course how people smile isn't what I can control but anyways, smile away whether its a bitter smile, happy smile, crazy smile or joker smile. (maybe not joker smile)
so SMILE =]
A smile can mean happiness, reassurance , greeting or just plain nothing.
I did this experiment, where i went jogging around the housing area (U JOG?! yes i do apparently, even though i hate it). The experiment was conducted to see people's reaction towards a smile.I smiled at everyone i passed by and the conclusion was.... drumroll please....
Majority smiled back as a natural response. It was effortless, natural and plain human.But how come only majority smiled back? thats because the minorities were people who either didn't see it or pretended that they didn't see it .Either they weren't use to it or they think I'm plain crazy. lol.
Focusing back on the majority would come from the elderly and young kids where else the youngsters around 20-30 were either too focused on their headphones or on the track , most of them didn't seem to respond like the others. To say that we live in a generation where one is too afraid to trust another to even smile is just plain sad or everyone is just too worried about themselves to care.
A smile doesn't hurt neither does it cost you a fortune, why not share it? keeping it would do no good.
Of course how people smile isn't what I can control but anyways, smile away whether its a bitter smile, happy smile, crazy smile or joker smile. (maybe not joker smile)
so SMILE =]
Monday, 1 April 2013
Life lessons : ただいま
ただいま "Tadaima"
means "I'm home" in Japanese.
Little did I know that such a simple phrase can bring such happiness and warmth to a person.
It happened last year during my stay in a ryokan in Japan, I was in a not quite okay mood as I kinda sorta got lost finding my way back to the ryokan. When I finally reached the place *thank god* Tired and panting, opened the sliding shoji door and said "tadaima" without thinking.*instinct I guess, too much anime.lol*
I thought I was being foolish in some "syok sendiri" way , but I didn't expect the 20-ish guy at the reception to pop his head out of the counter and nod and smile at me. And BAM! It was like one of the happiest moments in life :D I think I heard him say "okaeri" too.
Why such a big fuss about a person acknowledging your presence of return?
Well, because I didn't get any for the past two years or so.
Thats when the sudden realization struck on how I miss going home to a table full of dishes,my two cats who'd pounce out of no where and a mom that listens to her daughters day at school and all the dramas that happened.
After moving in to live with my sister, I went home everyday around 2 and had to fix my own lunch somehow and yes, read newspaper while eating and then head to room. Lock myself in and sleep or whatever til my sister comes back with my niece and my bro-in-law. And then I start preparing dinner with the maid, eat with my sister and her family in silence.(I don't talk when I eat, 1st. I'm used to eating alone and so I dont talk. 2nd, its impolite. 3rd.i might choke)
After dinner, sis and family shall sit in front of TV and watch TV. And I, shall head to my room and lock myself up.lol. Not that I don't want to join them but.. it's weird.. and I feel like I'm not suppose to watch TV but study. Anyways, so yeah, Loner for 2 years and this japanese guy struck me with realization on how I miss home right now. His acknowledgement left me feeling happy the whole day ;'D
To those of you who go home to a delicious meal and a ear always available for sharing...
Be grateful :)
Yesterday I had this convo with my 2nd sister while putra heights is undergoing a thunderstorm.
Putra heights thunder storm isn't like any other thunderstorm, its like Zeus is mad at us or something.
So my 2nd sister asked me if I'm afraid of thunder, she said she is and that the thunder in putra heights is scary.
me: ._. .. even if i'm scared I can't go to my eldest sis and say.. jie.. I'm scared.
it's just .. weird... She has to deal with her daughter summore. so a little thunder is fine, i guess.
so... to my blog "tadaima" ! I'm gonna continue posting some random topics.lolz
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Just a thought : Love me Not
Here it goes...
Carries out daily routine of reading newspaper while having lunch..Reads the small sections since all the others are lame stories bout how our country is improving and what not . Those interesting things you learn from newspaper, from medicine,jobs,politics,sex ed and etc. Not to mention the reality part of life. And yet some stuff still upsets me.. Like how animals are treated, the lifestyles certain people lead, the mind sets of older generations, the crimes and other stuff.
love me not..("Love and Such Is Not Necessary")
The first thing I see when I spread the newspaper out to read...A self shot pic (camwhore -.-) of a girl. What's the caption? None other than
[mother begs that daughter comes home after being missing for 2 days or so and is said to be last seen with some guys in a car.]
The detailed article has a picture of the mom holding the daughter's self shot picture crying and pleading the daughter to come home safely. I find this.. very very.. disturbing and sad. If I were the mother, I wouldn't even have the guts to say that the person in the self shot picture with duck face,contact lenses,make up and what not is my 13 year old daughter.And the next day, An article would be published and the title would be [runaway girl back home at last] I mean..
GIRL!!GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF! THAT PERSON, YES THAT PERSON ON THE COVER OF THE NEWSPAPER, THE ONE HOLDING YOUR PICTURE AND SOBBING, FOR GODS SAKE.. THAT PERSON.. IS YOUR GOD DAMNED MOTHER ! D: ..
Don't you feel ashamed? Aren't you the least bit considerate? I know family gives you pressure and all those shytty stuff but still.. running away with a few gangster guys aren't going to help you.I know you want OUT , getting a boyfriend and running away doesn't solve the problem.
My brother used to compare me to some of the sisters of his friends and even asked me stupid questions like whether or not I'll run away and all that. I'll just stare at my bro in the eyes and say.. what in the world makes you think your sister is that dumb? I mean.. HELLLLLLLO??? even if ,IF . I were to get a boyfriend, He wouldn't be those friggin' assholes xP . And besides, The LIM family strictly made it clear about no dating till I graduate from high school. -.- ...
Ahh.. which means.. I need to find my own source of entertainment when everyone else is in a relationship . Anyways,I'm doing well entertaining myself :D Le Discipline Officer for scouts is ready to shout and boss around !! hehehehe xD
So.. love me Not ;) *for now*
Carries out daily routine of reading newspaper while having lunch..Reads the small sections since all the others are lame stories bout how our country is improving and what not . Those interesting things you learn from newspaper, from medicine,jobs,politics,sex ed and etc. Not to mention the reality part of life. And yet some stuff still upsets me.. Like how animals are treated, the lifestyles certain people lead, the mind sets of older generations, the crimes and other stuff.
love me not..("Love and Such Is Not Necessary")
The first thing I see when I spread the newspaper out to read...A self shot pic (camwhore -.-) of a girl. What's the caption? None other than
[mother begs that daughter comes home after being missing for 2 days or so and is said to be last seen with some guys in a car.]
The detailed article has a picture of the mom holding the daughter's self shot picture crying and pleading the daughter to come home safely. I find this.. very very.. disturbing and sad. If I were the mother, I wouldn't even have the guts to say that the person in the self shot picture with duck face,contact lenses,make up and what not is my 13 year old daughter.And the next day, An article would be published and the title would be [runaway girl back home at last] I mean..
GIRL!!GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF! THAT PERSON, YES THAT PERSON ON THE COVER OF THE NEWSPAPER, THE ONE HOLDING YOUR PICTURE AND SOBBING, FOR GODS SAKE.. THAT PERSON.. IS YOUR GOD DAMNED MOTHER ! D: ..
Don't you feel ashamed? Aren't you the least bit considerate? I know family gives you pressure and all those shytty stuff but still.. running away with a few gangster guys aren't going to help you.I know you want OUT , getting a boyfriend and running away doesn't solve the problem.
My brother used to compare me to some of the sisters of his friends and even asked me stupid questions like whether or not I'll run away and all that. I'll just stare at my bro in the eyes and say.. what in the world makes you think your sister is that dumb? I mean.. HELLLLLLLO??? even if ,IF . I were to get a boyfriend, He wouldn't be those friggin' assholes xP . And besides, The LIM family strictly made it clear about no dating till I graduate from high school. -.- ...
Ahh.. which means.. I need to find my own source of entertainment when everyone else is in a relationship . Anyways,I'm doing well entertaining myself :D Le Discipline Officer for scouts is ready to shout and boss around !! hehehehe xD
So.. love me Not ;) *for now*
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