Just a thought: Materialistic or Personal Growth driven?

  Been scrolling through my blogger subscription box while semi-convincing myself every second that I ought to study right after this. My friend's beauty blog caught my eye, it was a post about the Naked 3 make up palette. To put it straight, I ended up going through her lists of posts and found myself mesmerised by the varieties of products that I could try. Of course the me from 6 years ago would diss me for even glancing at those things which also proves another fact, people change. You will never be the same person you are yesterday. But back to the topic, Looking at all the things that I would love to acquire for the sake of it. Is it wrong? Is this what they call guilty pleasures? 

     Extravagant dress rentals popping up at your facebook feed luring you with it's sheer momentarily fun; Beauty vlogs where ghouls miraculously transform into beauties; Instagram feeds with ordinary next door folk turned diva; Travelling folks giving you a glimpse of their life that gives you wanderlust. 

   All these luxuries before me and my consciousness telling me how some of the luxuries are doing more harm than good to the world and to myself. Clothes which stain the rivers with their toxic chemical remains, Non biodegradable products tossed out and forgotten, People filled with uncertainties and self doubt about themselves. ( Please take note that I specifically stated TOXIC chemicals, not all chemicals are bad. Heck without chemistry you wouldn't even be breathing by now.More on this matter in future post if possible, so please don't diss chemicals in general in a negative remark) 

   I've seen people who had plastic surgery looking ever so doubtful about their looks to the point of having to get assurance from others with constant streams of questions regarding their appearance. People having so many stuff that they spend more time being stressed out about it rather than feeling good about themselves.

A few links you can check out regarding this matter.

• TEDxAsheville - Adam Baker - Sell your crap. Pay your debt. Do what you love.

Adam shares life after clearing his debt.

• The ten-item wardrobe | Jennifer L. Scott | TEDxStGeorge

My personal favourite talk which was such an eye opener. The ten item wardrobe, Honestly would love to actually do this.

• A rich life with less stuff | The Minimalists | TEDxWhitefish

Have yet to actually watch this myself but judging from the amount of views, I'm guessing it's worth your time.

  Personally would love to live a minimalist lifestyle myself when I finally move out and have a stable income. Perhaps a studio apartment (or just some decent apartment) with comfortable space to move about. I foresee a sleeping area with a futon like bed and perhaps a lamp on a piled up stash of books, the only other thing that might be in there would be a rack for my 10 item wardrobe. Suppose the only other things I need are desk,chair,laptop and bookshelves. The only thing in abundance in my future home would be fruits, potted plants and books. But I'm considering on donating the books and only keeping the few that truly inspires me. 

   Well let's not dwell on that for long, Quoting Tony Robbins a successful live coach and philanthropist "what you focus on, you fuel." (Not really the exact words but close enough) So lets talk about personal growth and self recognition. First off, ask yourself.

    "How well do I know about myself?"

If the answer is not very well, then you my friend, are boarding on the same ship as me. What am I good at? What are my flaws? What do I need to work on? Who am I? What do I like?

  It really baffles me at times how little I know about myself. I spent 19 years with myself and yet I can't list out with ease all the things about myself when asked. (More so the reason to stay single) I'm confused at what I want in life. 

  Reason I'm in dilemma about what I'm doing with my life. 

I'm jack of all trades,master of none. 

   This certainly made it hard for me to make a decision on what course to take on for further education, plus the fact that the idiom above is usually used in negative remarks. But not until recently did I come across the full version of this particular idiom.

  Jack of all trades, master of none,

though oftentimes better than master of one.

This certainly made me feel much better about myself. Speaking of feeling good about yourself, here's a few more ted talks I feel are worth watching.

• Meaghan Ramsey: Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you

Meaghan walks through the impacts of low body and image confidence.

• Simon Sinek: How great leaders inspire action

Definitely one of my favourite Ted talks. Simon Sinek's talks are purely eye opening and inspiring.Do check out his other talks as well.

 I know I've been going on and off course with this post but perhaps that's how life is. One moment you're obsessed with things and perhaps the other you're fascinated and fully submerged in an activity. 

  What drives you?

   

Just a thought: The need to be in a relationship

When you're single, all you see is happy couples.

                                                    And when you're taken, all you see is happy singles

Well that's true to some degree I suppose. Face it, some times you want to be in relationships and other times you just want people to leave you alone. But it's inevitable once you hit puberty. It's purely biology.

(crashcourse biology- biology basically means sex and not dying) 

  Blame your hormones all you want, as long as you take charge of your head and your heart, chances are.. you'll make it out unscathed. But truthfully, how hard is it to not want to be in a relationship? 

  When couples start forming all around you gradually.

  When seniors can't make it for an activity on valentines day due to "plans"

  When the girl sitting behind you fell in love with a schoolmate from your high school.

  
When your sisters dated so much more earlier than you.

 When a person who isn't as naturally gifted in looks get into a relationship even before you had a chance to even taste it. 

Perhaps I missed a meeting. Perhaps there was a relationship 101 that I didn't sign up for.

And looking at all the above. Reality hits you hard.

What has this need to be in a relationship done to you? You've become quite a spiteful person. Judging people and complaining like some grandma who witnessed the world war 3 firsthand (of course she didn't, duh) 

Getting into a relationship doesn't make you a better person. Nor does it grant you access to some exclusive club only for couples. There's no need to rush into one blindly just to fulfill the ideal image of being in a relationship. That just proves that you're not mature to weigh the outcomes and consequences. Your thoughtless move may cause suffering for another person. 

 Instead, wait till the right person comes along. And pray hard that everything falls right into place with the aid of fate. For now, focus on understanding yourself. 

haha. for instance, I didn't know I was quite the introvert till..

This Buzzfeed quiz got bullseye on everything I liked to do in the description. 

But the word introvert glared at me like a stranger. 

Okay I yield.

              Introvert it is then.

 Lesson learnt: There's always something to learn about yourself. 

Just a thought : Taking control

 Living in the era where one is constantly exposed to new information with or without intention can be useful yet nerve wrecking at the same time. There are the pros and the cons of being subsequently submerged in a sea of information throughout the day.

    Have you ever stopped and realized that you were taking in a catchy song that may have somehow wormed its way into your head from a radio programme. Unbeknownst to you, That song might have lyrics that were meant to degrade people of different sexual preferences or foul language that really shouldn't be coming out of a decent person's mouth. Yet, that song is stuck in your head due to its terrifyingly catchy tune. This also leads to earworms where the songs just gets stuck in your head throughout the whole day while you carry out activities that doesn't require much thought. 

 But those pesky earworms favourite times to mingle around your head is non other than during exam where you're all stressed out. Having it stuck in your head is bad enough, having it drilling foul languages and degrading thoughts in your head is the worse part of it. 

 So choose carefully and take control of what you listen to.

 Personally, I dread songs where females are seen as solely an item of sex rather than of the same class of beings. This brings me to another point, it's because of influences like this that till this day females no matter how educated will still be looked downed as merely a doll mainly for household chores and reproductive uses. 

   Stares, cat calls and disgusting smirks from these type of men more often than not just makes it hard for females today believe whether civilization is actually moving forward or actually back tracking. I wouldn't call myself a feminist for I have done nothing to contribute to that movement, I am but a human being asking for respect among human beings regardless of sex. How hard is it to actually respect another? 

To girls (boys too) , If someone even shows a hint of disrespect and rudeness, don't even bother with them. Just detach yourself from them and remember that 

  "I matter."

  

  That's all you really need. 

                       Don't ever forget that.

 If someone disrespects you in any way, they don't deserve your time. Don't make a fuss about it, just detach and move on. 

    Mingle with civilised people. For when you spend time with people of worth, you become worthy yourself.There's a study that says that you are the average of the people you spend most your time with. I find that quite true.

 So choose carefully and take control of who you spend your time with. 

  Ever been so caught up in a video marathon on youtube whether it be buzzfeed (buzzfeed videos are awesome! ) or cat videos that you lose your sense of time? I've wasted countless hours just watching something that has nothing to do with me on a personal level but appeared on my suggestion box. But of course, Some of these videos (if you're going on a beneficial video marathon) will get you thinking. How kids react to certain things and how the reality is like. I sometimes find myself forcing myself through a video even though it wa boring. (why do I do this to myself...)

  Movies on the other hand are a total different story. The movies we watched while growing up might've caused some of us to be inspired i.e Mulan. But then again, having being used to all the gore and blood in movies and stuff really makes getting stabbed and bleeding a pool of blood seem like nothing. But in reality, It should send chills up our spine even thinking about it. Test yourself, when you imagined a person getting stabbed and being surrounded a pool of his own blood, what went through your head?  I'm presuming that it resembles something like "meh" or "lol"  So how much did movies and dramas affect our perspective? 

So choose wisely the things you let yourself watch.

  Of course after going through all that, there will be inevitable times when you just can't jump out of the car when your mom is driving and perhaps humming to a rap song that unbeknownst to her has something to do with big butts and genitals. Till you get the chance to jump out of the vehicle,

Take control of your thoughts.

The dilemma

    Dilemma - a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones

I suppose everyone of us experiences a dilemma from time to time. Like here I am deciding on what to write after such a long time. So I settled with something that has been lurking around in my mind for a while now. 

How does one deal with dilemmas ? Is it a must to pick sides? 

I've learnt that there's no absolute solution but there are solutions that can minimize the risk of the problem to a state that can be handled. So what's the solution here?
You can run but you can't run forever. 

Sooner or later it's either pick a choice or the choice picks you. But then again that will just ruin you, Tony Robbins , a successful life coach and philanthropist said that we all have a power to change our lives. And that is the power of choice. Get the ripped away from you and you are nothing but a slave who is restricted.

There isn't always a win-win solution, So what will you do? 
My best bet for now is have a good cry over it and think it over for a day before making a decision just on the spur of the moment for the sake of getting a solution. Perhaps my perspective and way of handling will change, And I sincerely hope it does do me well in the future when handling dilemmas.

Just a thought : Standing on the sidelines

    During my JPJ test (driving test) , the JPJ examiners aka ticking time bombs conducted a briefing before the test started. They were well known as a group of people who had mood swings comparable to a traffic light. You never know what fate awaits you for they have no hesitance to correct your wrong(and right) doings in a harsh manner verbally.

   Not to say every single one of them are evil but that's what they are portrayed as, you've got to give it to them. If you have to face every type of Malaysian (mostly teens) in a span of 12 hours or so and have them prove their worth to you. You'd break. I definitely would. 

  You're meeting people who are the future of this country and quite a number of them cannot even converse in our own national language. Not to mention the ones who can't even speak up and be heard. The future of the country turns bleak in an instance. 

 
  So back to the briefing given by the JPJ people.I'm sure most of you(Malaysians) are familiar with the awkward silence where the one giving the talk is expecting a response or volunteer from the audience. Our mindset is somewhat similar to titanic

    You jump, I jump.

Malaysians..

    See first la...

  You do,then I do.

     Follow oni

If wrong very mempersiasuikan

which results in reluctance to participate to avoid situasi yang amat memalukan. I admit that I do it as well depending on the situation. (Malaysians ma) The awkward silence soon rendered the speaker to disappointment and frustration. It was a room filled with 300plus people and only the occasional revving of engine was heard as the whole room remained ignorant to the need to respond. We would rather stand at the sidelines rather than fight at the frontline. 

While waiting for the exam, you hear different things conversations going on.The youngsters are talking about migrating. The graduates are dreaming about working overseas. Who are the ones who are gonna stay? Are we going to stay in the sidelines forever and follow suit the trend of leaving the country? 

  

JPJ guy given the cold shoulder at some point 

  Dear fellow Malaysians, when are we going to learn to speak up and be heard? Will it be when the education system has been altered for hundreds of time or when the society has deemed it time to stop trying to make us shut up and listen every single time like a good student.
Or will be standing on the sidelines forever?

p.s I passed my ujian JPJ :)  Those time bombs allow me to drive. They're
not that bad now are they?

Just a thought : Your self, your soul.

   I just melt when I meet sincere people. There's just that genuine look in their eyes that makes you at ease. What's their secret? I wanna know. How do you be so sincere and genuine in a world where people no longer have trust for each other even for the most insignificant matters? Suppose they might let you down or the other way around. You never know when one will end up stabbing you from the back or take advantage of you. Perhaps its no secret.

Perhaps all one needs to do is to just doubt less and let go of things that you can't control. 

Be sincere,
         Be true.
No one can be more you
                    than you.

Well, Compare the time when you were a kid and now.
 Every. Single. Cell . in your body is replaced. 
Your teeth drops out and changes, your red blood cell killed in the bone marrow, your hair falls, and replaced with new ones.
Every single cell you had from the start is GONE.

So WHAT do you cling to? 

" You think yourselves as humans searching for a spiritual awakening,when in fact you are spiritual beings attempting to cope with human awakening. Seeing yourselves from the perspective of the spirit within will help you to remember why you came here and what you came here to do "  -The Group

Just a thought - Success and a Meaningful Life

 Success

What does it mean? More precisely. What does it mean to you?
Does it mean owning something expensive? Does it mean achieving the highest ranking of some organization? Does it mean earning loads of cash? Is it materialistic or is it based on spiritual needs like finding the love of your life or having a happy family. Frankly,everyone is crazy about it but what is it?

Think about it. The moment you die (or before you die), when you reflect about your life and reconsider.. was it meaningful? What is meaningful to you? What have you done when you had the time? the idea? the energy? Were you fulfilled? Did you succeed in what you believed?

 Think about it. While you go to school. Then attend college and perhaps university followed by getting a job interview. Being accepted and perhaps get married. What's next? Have kids and wait for retirement and death? Aren't you no different than a processed product from the factory? Even a processed product has longer life span than you and what do you do with that time? 

  Think about it. You have time and yet you have no time. What are you doing with it while you still have it? What are the wonderful things that could happen if you utilize it? Take Steve Jobs for example, he said that remembering the fact that you are going to die one day is one of the most useful tools for success. Sure he changed the technology world I suppose, but what's more important is the fact that he changed lives. He changed our perspectives (well some of us). 

  What is your definition of a meaningful life? Materialistic things don't follow you when you die so what's the point in that? What did you do while you were given the time?

Humans are incredible. We can soar in the skies and dive in the deep blue oceans even though not biologically equipped so. We can communicate with people on the other side of the world without traveling there. We can capture moments and keep them in still pictures as if it was printed from our eyes. Take all that and show it to humans a few centuries before and they'd chase after you with a burning torch screaming "WITCH!!"  

 The thing is, we humans are incredible. Incredible beings and yet what are the most of us doing with our lives? Are you happy doing what you are doing now? Are you driven to live to the fullest? What's your purpose?

 You don't know when is your last day. But you do know that it will come. And when it comes, have you lived up to the life you wanted? Or did you waste it by living someone else's dreams?
  There is no such thing as impossible. It may be hard but it is definitely not impossible. We may not be fully equipped with the "supposed" recipe for success like money, fame and publicity. But we are gifted to be resourceful . Not to mention to be fully equipped with determination and faith which most of us don't really utilize.
Look at the wright brothers.
They flew. 
Man with two legs and no wings.
Flying. 

I don't see no reason why we can't do the same for our lives for what we believe in.
Love all you can, Give all you're able to, and most importantly. Live.

(Some sources and examples are from the TED vids. Check it out. Very inspirational. Others are just me having sleeping problems and the urge to get all the stuff out of my head and in to the blog :P )

Just a thought: To kiss a frog

  We all know in the story of the frog prince, An evil witch turned the prince into a frog and the only way to turn him back to his royal highness form is nothing grand but rather priceless, it was a kiss from a royal princess. 
   
   Princesses are usually brought up to be prim and proper and unless it was snow white, I doubt any princess would simply kiss a frog. Well perhaps maybe cinderella since kissing mice wasn't a problem and don't you even start about belle from beauty and the beast okay? (They were fuzzy furry mammals) I'm talking about slimy gooey little creatures with jutting eyes and bloating throats called frogs. 

  Touching one is pretty much asking me to peel my skin off and disconnect all my touch receptors, What more about kissing one? (some rather gruesome images best not shared with all of you in case of copyright intentions to commit suicide)

    I grew up reading the original version of the story by the Brothers Grimm where the princess throws the frog against the wall instead of kissing it and the somehow being tossed at the wall turned him back into his handsome human form. There was another version where the frog would just ask to sleep on the princess's bed every night and somehow that worked as well. In both these versions, the princess is rather reluctant when it comes to returning the favor of the frog who has oh-so kindly picked up her precious golden ball from the well.

   In all honesty, I feel that most of us girls would be as well. I mean, most of us in general can't even stand looking at them and would probably throw the frog against the wall or perhaps some of us who have higher tolerance would actually bear with having a frog sleeping next to our pillow with lots of borders and fences separating us in between.(fortress made of pillows?)

  In the end, no one kisses the frog. Lets switch it up a bit.
In real life, what if the frog represented some underdog person who is not what he/she seems to be. He or She may be the one true soul that sings the same song as yours, would you kiss the frog if the opportunity arises? (frogs are rather blunt people at times now aren't they? asking for a kiss directly shouldn't be much of a surprise) or would you throw him/her against the wall in disgust ? (which probably means getting a restriction order)

  What are the chances of them revealing their true form? or perhaps what's inside isn't far from what's on the outside. And as the old saying goes "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince " . Not a very efficient "trial and error" method don't you think? But it all comes down to one thing..

To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question.

Arthur Rackham's illustration to the Fairy tale of the
Brothers Grimm's Frog Prince.

Life purpose

   On this rather normal Sunday night, I decided to try on some clothes and perhaps pretend that I was preparing for some event instead of watching movies, reading books and studying. I do it once in a blue moon, suppose it was to satisfy my feminine side and kill boredom. On this particular night I decided I ought to see what I should wear for my cousin's wedding as an excuse to play dress up. I took a few dresses out of my wardrobe and draped it on the bed and put on one after another. I put away the ones which weren't suitable back into the closet and whilst doing that, the lab coat hanging in there caught my eye and I took it out absent minded. I put it on and looked straight into the mirror at myself wearing a lab coat.

  Does this feel right? No. Not quite. I pulled up my long dark hair into a ponytail and stared at the my reflection again. How about now? Still.Not quite. But I feel much more like myself now,not like some porcelain china doll. I tried to picture myself working at a field wearing a lab coat. Hmmn.. Not very attractive but it'll do I suppose. But not quite. I read somewhere earlier today that talking to yourself actually makes you smarter, and so I did. I couldn't remember when was the last time I had a one on one with yours truly, but it started out quite entertaining I suppose. My usual hint of sarcasm wasn't here this time as I started listing the things that I love out loud as I read the sticky note I placed on my mirror a long time ago that says "what are you grateful for?". Perhaps I was answering myself and also questioning myself the same time.

    As the list went on, I had mixed feelings about every thing I listed out. Some were honest and genuine, some were just materialistic things that made me feel somewhat empty. I walked around the room still in a lab coat, listing out things I love that came to mind and looked around for inspiration. I love books, I love stories, I love knowledge, I love to write, I love to make people happy, I love chocolate, I love the smell of rain and wet soil, I love to lie on my back and stare at the sky, I love romantic things like love letters and candles,I love to make use of limited resources,I love to make things look brand new, I love to play with make up, I love to tell stories, I love to travel, I love traditional clothes, I love cultures, I love tarot cards, I love cats,I love my family, I love scouts, I love my friends,  I love my cats, I love to.. protect.

   I thought about the Tedx vid I watched recently labeled

How to Know Your Life Purpose in 5 Minutes by Adam Leipzig 

I couldn't answer any of it except for the first one then.

 The idea was simple. To figure it out , just ask yourself. 
Who are you?
What you did?
Who you did it for?
What those people wanted or needed?
How did they change after getting it?

I silently answered those with flashbacks and memories of myself staying true to myself and honest with what I felt was right. I loved and gave my all to what I believed. I offered protection for others,my friends, my family, my cats, in different ways but for the same reason. They needed protection in the form of company, in the form of love, in the form of honor. In any form at all. How did they change? They were relieved. They were happy. They were proud.

I thought back about my beloved late cats. All of them. Especially my blue eyed Siamese who showed and taught me so much. I realized.. I've failed to protect him. Perhaps all of them as well since I remember all the tragic deaths and disappearances of my cats. They were family and yet I've failed to protect them from being kidnapped, failed to protect them from being starved by mean people who wouldn't give them back no matter how I cried, failed to protect them from fleas, failed to protect them from poisonous rats, failed to protect them from stray dogs. Here I am in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face pathetically even though I just recovered from my crying fit earlier. I'm so sorry, so sorry I couldn't protect you.All of you. I love you so much I miss you everyday.

I miss your comforting presence. I miss looking forward to get home from school to see you. I miss calling out for you. I miss having you by my side. I miss hugging you like a teddy bear when I sleep and you'd carefully slip to the corner after you know I'm asleep. I miss your company when you know I'm sad. I miss you so dearly.

You've protected me countless times in your own way. You were like a body guard ready to act when needed, lizards and insects which terrify me were taken care of because of you. You protected my childhood. You protected me from being afraid to love. You protected me in many,many ways.
And yet I've failed to protect you. When you came home all thin and starved, My heart shattered into a million pieces when I saw the state you were in. Instead of comforting you and giving you reassurance, I felt like I was the one receiving it as you tried to calm me down from my sobs whilst seemingly saying "it's okay now, everything is fine now."I suddenly remember I swore to protect you and others with the same fate in the future . I promised.

              I live to protect, to protect the ones, the things, the causes that matter to me.

It hit bulls eye for my life purpose/goals for now I suppose. How do I actually do it? I haven't actually figured it out yet but perhaps the most suitable career that would enable me to protect whilst make a living would be veterinary. I'll figure it out one way or another since, I promised.

snowglobes

  I have no idea why but I am very fascinated with snow globes. There's something about it.. I can't really put a finger to it but it really intrigues me. Its as if a story is trapped inside the globe and magic revolves around it.  Bizarre thoughts huh? Though I have yet to own one (Hopefully I'll come across one that captures my interest  someday) , I'm sure I'll get one soon.

  Wouldn't it be a fine idea to make a snow globe for a special day or person? custom snow globe of course. Not to mention fairy tale snow globes (which I'd kill to own).  There's actually nothing much to it if you think about it as a globe and some glitter. But if you change your paradigm, It's a magical world/tale trapped in a globe and there's an air of magic about it. cool eh? :)

  I'd like to custom make one for events that mean a lot to me. Though there's no snow in Malaysia, Lets just all pretend that its fairy dust or something that reminiscence your past.

Just a thought : The average pet names

Ever notice how people often name their pets after food? 

 for example..

-Maggie (lol, support malaysian brand instant noodle!!)
-Sprinkles
-Ginger (yep..you can probably guess the next one..)
-ONION (lol, seriously got people name their pets onion)
-Pepsi (neighbor's dog)
-Cola ( Neighbor's dog's son)
-Biscuit
-Sushi (and with sushi there must be.. wait for it... WASABI )
-Pumpkin
-Mango

and all the bizzare food names you can guess, one guy named his dog chili.
It was registered as chili dog. lol, poor dog.

What happens when a chinese fella names their pet..
 (yes, we chinese fellas give our pets our family names)

-Jibjib (my friend's sugar glider)
-Mimi (my cats, mimi the 1st, the 2nd the 3rd so on...)
-Pipi
-Moumou
-Didi
 -Bubu                lol you get the point xD

Then theres the descriptive names..

-"fei mao" 肥猫(fat cat)
-"ben mao" 笨猫(dumb cat)
-"sha gou" 傻狗(silly dog)
-"xiao bai" 小白 (little white) (and yes,they come in other colors as well)


Then there's the feng shui names..

-"wang cai" 旺财 (prosperity)
-"lai fu"来福 (come prosperity)
-"ah fu"啊福 (ah-prosperity)
-"fu gui" 富贵 (rich)
-Lucky

Then there's the malay version of pet names..

-Si comel
-Si kucing
-Si putih
-Si gemuk

All the Si la (**not silicone**)

So what's your pet's name?

My pet tiger :D

Just a thought :The sky is so pretty :)

  The story of goldilocks in real life. (okay yeah, I'm not blonde. how bout browndilocks? :P)
    
 For a person who has trouble relaxing, I like to stare at the sky. But I can't seem to.Especially when I'm required to be partially immersed in water -_- I can't seem to give in and just float on the water without sinking, lol yes I panic. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the view of the sky while lying on the ocean :) (thank you life jacket :like: )

  But it feels unsettling, especially the feeling that a wave might happen to crash on me and send me to atlantis >_<

So choice no.2
  I stared at the sky while lying on a boat in the middle of the ocean.(no joke, I was kayaking :P)

But it is still so unsettling -_- especially the feeling that I might possibly be circled by sharks, not to mention the jaws theme song playing in my head. Thus I gave up and decided to ignore shrieks from my cousins who were waving like maniacs all the way from the shore by shading my head with a oversized hat I bought earlier and pretended to sleep. (lol, they needed a ride back to the main boat. Apparently I'm the only fella with a boat, so yeah :P) 

 which leads to choice no.3
Just having my back on sweet old solid earth =]

When was the last time you just lied down and stared at the clouds? :3

Just a thought : Why manners and etiquette exist

  Just imagine a world with everyone who has manners and etiquette. I'm sure no one would start a fight over a simple please and thank you. The simplest rules of confucius that says that one should respect the elderly and tolerate the young would very much suffice to ensure family harmony. Not only that, It increases one's personal values. A person learns to respect not only people around them but most importantly respect themselves as well.

  Manners help one give a good impression. Thus when one leaves a good impression, it gives a good vibe to the other person. This good vibe can lead to harmony and acceptance among the two individuals. (Of course there may be terms and conditions applied.lol)

  Other than that, Saying please and thank you or offering a cup of tea must make you feel good inside right? You're doing something right, so naturally.. it makes you feel good about your self. At least you won't be constantly thinking about slitting other peoples throats for some mere reason.

tea anyone?

the inner debate : make up or no make up?

 And it's that time of your life when you are exposed and given a choice to wear make up and all sorts of questions flood into your head . Questions like.. do I really need make up? Is everyone wearing it? What's a mascara? When do I need to wear make up ..?

  And then there's the thoughts that some girls have , the theory that..
 
    What if I only wore make up when there was an event and not on a daily basis? That would show my other half that I can be very pretty if need be (due to the vast difference).

 I used to think like that too (lol) , and then I was kinda surprised by my own thoughts when my cousin told me about how she wished she could surprise her other half with the theory above. This thought just went through my head and it actually made sense to me (I don't know bout you)

  that very thought:

  Why wear make up for that one guy? (not getting it?)
 Lemme rephrase that :
                                          Why look beautiful for a guy?

See the bigger picture now?

   We should look beautiful for ourselves. Not for vanity of course but for the pure fact that it boosts one's confidence and in the shitty reality.. it helps us the with the social networking . But the point is, wearing make up should enhance one's self value and confidence, not a layer of shield that you live under your whole life. Due to the influence of the fashion industry and entertainment industry, most girls are under the impression that they are simply not pretty enough. Thus causing the trauma of refusal to go out without make up. 


  Though I can't do much about that, I do sincerely hope I don't get burdened by the need to be drop dead gorgeous all the time just to keep up with others. All in all, The saying that beauty is only skin deep stays true. A person's beauty would only matter for the first few decades of their lives, A person's inner beauty will last as long as they live.

conclusion?

It's all up to you. It shan't make much difference for your love life because eventually, you gotta remove all those layers of stuff on your face .
Make up doesn't make you beautiful, it makes you pretty.
     Your soul is what makes you beautiful,
            Your personality is what makes you attractive.

 Of course confidence is the main "make up product" that hasn't been in the market yet. But does it matter if you're not as pretty as a magazine cover girl? remember that you are attractive and beautiful. Being pretty is optional and totally up to you.

no make-up

tad bit of make up

make up on mah eye brows? 

                                   

meh :P if you can't be pretty, you gotta be funneh :P
(result of being too lazy to apply the rest of the make up)

Just a thought : does young love exist?

 Been watching loads of movies and dramas lately, it just struck me that most of the main characters are in their teen years (some even younger than me) and they are truly madly deeply in love. Which brings to another thing, I realized I don't believe how true it is. Well, in all honesty, I don't believe most of it. It feels like love is ruled by hormones during our teenage years. Does it exist or is it just a game played by our hormones? Are we truly capable of it?
  When I look around, I feel as if I'm left out whilst others are already talking about their 2nd or 3rd relationships. (But relationships shouldn't be hurried,yeah, I know :P) I'm just waiting for someone to embark this journey with me, we'd either sink or go far. But I highly doubt the latter somehow. It feels surreal, like some cheesy chick flick. All in all, I might as well not board the ship in the first place.I'm sure the world has much to offer other than chapters from a love story. Who am I kidding, I belong somewhere in a confucius book full of etiquette and unspoken rules. To be someone who values family honor more than her life.
  But honestly, the events that could happen feels surreal somehow. I highly doubt it would happen but who knows? I've always lead a dramatic life somehow up till this point.

if I were to sink, I'd sink in style

Life lessons : I know a lot, and yet I know nothing

  Went to grandma's place today. As soon as I set foot in her house, immediately I was handed tasks and questioned whether or not I was hungry at least once every 15 minutes or so. Typical grandma x)
The task of the day was to harvest some long beans from her backyard farm. She kept on going about how I never picked a vegetable before in my life and yep ._. TRUE DAT. My grandma learnt some english today as well, from me? NOPE. my nephew was screaming at the eggplant (stands in front of the vegetable and literally screaming EGGPLANT!!!!!)  it actually looked like he was blaming the eggplant for being purple. lol.

   After long beans I was sent to pick some more vegetables that grew at the top of the stem. With a stool and my grandma's supervision, I was to tip toe - stretch - grab - repeat. Just as I grabbed the last one and took a good look at it, I saw a mini spider-like black stuff on that particular vegetable, I threw it away like it was the plague since I thought it was insect eggs. My grandma just stared at me started laughing at me while telling my mom how I shuddered and mistook vegetable seed for insect eggs. lol. Made fun of by two generations. GREAT. JUST GREAT. -_-

   Anyways, grandma shared some life lessons such as "Don't ask man for food, ask the earth for food"
It actually made sense doesn't it? :3

yes, that's my mom xD 

Just a thought : plain clothes, big difference

  Lots of events lately resulting in me having to search for presentable clothes . lol. how do I feel?
one word.
                       TIRING.

Picking clothes are tiring. Trying on clothes are tiring. Keeping clothes are tiring.
    EVERYTHING IS TIRING -_-

I'm already at the brink of exhaustion merely just trying on clothes. Lol, not to mention handling criticism from family about how you should lose weight and whatsoever. Not only does it tire me physically, it tortures me mentally as well. It pushed me to a point of thinking..
what if what we wear doesn't matter?
What if how you match the clothes don't matter at all?
What if you could just hang out with people regardless of what brand you're wearing?
what if?

   I remember the headache-less years when I was a child and clothes were just .. clothes. They serve as garments to keep you warm . As long as you wear clothes, you're good to go. But no, society now requires one to "dress accordingly". You get criticized if you didn't know how to match pale pink and green. You're seen as a complete nerd if all you wear is sweats and pants. Not to mention all the advertising nowadays that really kills one's self esteem .Tall and slender models, looking good no matter how ridiculous the clothes are. And then there's you, looking like a drag no matter how expensive the rag you're currently wearing costs.

  Why can't we all just dress plain and simple?
Less headache. Less conflicts. and you know the old saying- less is more :)

Other than that, did you know the industry nowadays are polluting the environment just to make what you're wearing now?

sad isn't it?
Just think how life would be so much easier if everyone weren't so obsessed over what they're wearing and more important inner beauty is.

Just a thought : treated as an equal

Yet again one of the posts that will be talking bout my self discovered theories.
    So I was out jogging (did I mention how much I hated to jog? ) and yep I failed since I don't have that much of a willpower :P anyways, back to the topic. I was out of the house in a sec with my sports attire and ipod, I took this way up the road where no car goes since it's a dead end to jog. While I passed by this playground, I sensed a pair of bored eyes upon me. No, it's not a stalker or a creep, its the one who's been to london to visit the queen and frightened a little mouse under her chair.Any ideas?
   yep, It's a cat :D
So whats up with the cat?
  Lets just say at first we were staring each other, then it dissapeared under a bush and then I ended up sitting on grass petting it. lol. Maybe its a cat person thing, lol.  anyways, I'm naming it affection since she looks like she hasn't gotten this much affection since god knows when.
  And then I got up since I realized i kinda defeated my purpose of jogging. I stood up and this idea flashed across my mind, why not take a walk with affection. So I gestured affection to follow, guess what?she did. It's a queer sight,really. You see a girl in her sports attire walking at a seemingly slow pace while stretching and right beside her, you'll see a brown furred cat walking by her side at the same pace. Whenever I quicken the pace unintentionally, she tries to keep up. When i stop, she'll just continue walking and growl at me (in a way that kinda sounds like shes urging me to stop slacking) I tried to control my pace since she's pregnant, lol. And so,human and cat went for an evening walk together.
        My theory is.. if you treat another as an equal and respect it, the other will do the same too. No matter what or who they are. If a cat can do so, so can you. For those who don't return the same respect and attitude, that just plainly shows that even a cat can beat them in terms of moral etiquette .

Just a thought : Girl then,girl now

  Let's say that I am a chinese girl who is born in the tang dynasty in China which is around the 10th century, eldest daughter in a family who lived in Guang Zhou. I would've been one of the girls who gone through the process of foot-binding in order to achieve lotus feet. It is the custom of applying painfully tight binding to the feet of young girls to prevent further growth. 
   Now that, is scary. In order to be brought up as a lady and get a good husband, I'd have to have my foot bounded at the age of 4-7 years old ,Feet soaked in  warm water or animal blood with herbs(ewww!!!). After soaking the feet, my toe nails were to be cut as back as possible to prevent in-growth and given a foot massage.(like the idea of the massage, the toe nail clipping? not so much ..) Next, every toe would be broken except for the big toe(now thats TOO MUCH). Then the foot is wrapped with binding cloth. Everyday, or every couple days, the foot would be unwrapped and wrapped again.(TORTURING MUCH). The girls were put into smaller shoes until their foot was about 4 inches long. 
   And all that torturing for what? lol, A good marriage. (rich dude, duh)
It is said that the smaller the foot the better, men back in the days find it to be very attractive(what were they thinking -_-)

wikipedia: Bound feet were a mark of beauty that became a prerequisite for finding a husband, as well as an avenue for poorer women to marry into money. Women, their families, and their husbands took great pride in tiny feet, with the ideal length, called the “Golden Lotus”, being about 7 cm (2.75 inches) long.*7 cm nia -A-*This pride was reflected in the elegantly embroidered silk slippers and wrappings girls and women wore to cover their feet. Walking on bound feet necessitated bending the knees slightly and swaying to maintain proper movement and balance, a dainty walk that was also considered sexually enticing to men.(lol, men found it sexually enticing ... great.. Possibility of having some hentai(变态) as my ancestor just increased)
  
compared to them... Dang scary sial the ritual...
I'd would've got feet like these..(search for it urself, the pic itself is scarier than horror movies in my opinion)

other than foot binding,there are other stuff that females are put through such as wearing a corset. lol. search up on it if u want to. lol.

Life as a girl

  Random topic, but good enough to blog about ;)
So fate decided that I should be a girl in this life,not that I know him personally or anything, fate seems to know what he's doing xD
   Lets start from being a 5 year old then since I can't seem to remember anything at all before that. At the age of rainbows and unicorns, I was merely a dress up doll for my siblings. They love to doll me up and I'd be seen wearing dresses and skirts with 2 pony tails everywhere. lol. (damn powerless sial) But i don't know why I liked wearing dresses back then.  I had a weaker body than an average kid and would be sick all time, Mom would make some traditional chinese herbal medicine for me on a daily basis and gawddd it was disgustingly bitter. Nonetheless, I still drank it without questions, merely clinging to my mom's favorite quote, "the more bitter it is, the better the medicine"(my own translation of it from mandarin)-苦苦良药- I'd stay at home most of the time for being ill and actually skipped 3 quarter of class at kindergarden for a year at the age of 6. What'd I'd do at home then? uh.. read my bro's collection of comics ,watch tv ,eat medicine,sleep,repeat. My constant companion as a kid was this mother cat at home, My mom named her "dumb cat" for some reason. Anyways, for skipping class almost the whole year you'd think I'm illiterate and can't even write. Tell you what, thats just the opposite :P I finished the workbook the kindergarden gave at the start of the year since my mom kept asking me to do workbook. I ended up finishing a years work in a week since I was the obedient child I was. From reading comics and watching TV, I actually learned more than the kids in kindergarden, but truth to be told, I didn't have much friends and my siblings were either studying or working. oh yeah, I went to tuition too, with that. When I finally went back to kindergarden, I sort of found the kids to be dumb and touchy. lol. (mean thought for a 6 year old but whatever :P)  
    After I attended primary school , I stopped wearing dresses and couldn't care less what I wore. I didn't even know the fact that one should match clothes before going out, tbh i was in a ragged state. lol.
I made sure as long as I'm wearing something then its fine with me. I always thought that only people who are skilled are allowed to tie their hair and cutting finger nails was easy, just chop it off ,as long as its short than you got the job done. But no, turns out girls are suppose to carefully chop their nails bit by bit until they achieve some certain shapes . I wasn't exposed to all of this and didn't have confidence to do so. I stuck to wearing collar shirts and jeans since I didn't have the so called fashion sense and everything I match seems wrong to  my siblings.
   And in lower secondary, My hormones were out of control is the only thing I can say. Still the so called tom boy who hangs out with guys since I can't stand drama and actually made girls cry before. C'mon la.. so touchy -_-  I got boycotted by the girls for no god damned reason and the dudes were too chicken to back me up I suppose. Anyways, I wasn't the weakling , I refused to be one when a bunch of short junior girls ganged up against me and just had a stare me down competition just because some dude said I said something about them. Tbh, i don't care what they think but honestly, It was a pathetic act. I guess a girls life is to be full of drama, closed mined people and me don't go together well.
  I transfered school,  slowly my confidence boosted. They taught me how to open up and that dramas were only for a good laugh. They treat me like family and boosted my confidence by leaps and bounds. They taught me stuff and exposed me to stuff a girl should know. hahahhah~ like nigahiga and girly magazines.But they showed that all girl must do that, whats important is just be yourself .You can be a total tomboy but still look cool.
   Did I mention somehow being smart has its perks?  :P Always stuck in the first classes for barely trying but somehow stuck there . lol. well, I find majority literate people to be more open minded.
Can you believe I joined a singing competition? ikr, even i can't believe that. The reason I joined was because a shy friend of mine asked me to be her backup, and since I was a people person, I did :)
Comparing the weak girl years before, I've achieved a lot more. Going for king scouts is one of them, getting high post for clubs were a bonus for me ;) despite everything, being a girl is tougher than it looks. I spent half an hour deciding what to with my hair merely for tuition.hahhahha~ problematic cases in daily life.
  Looks- a major crisis for girls. I'm lucky to be fair without trying. I thank my parents for the good genes they gave me, fair skin, height,good eyesight,straight teeth and brains. thanks :D
hahaha, not boasting but I had a friend who liked my thick hair and asked me how  I got thick lips. uh.. ._. (i was fighting down the urge to tell her you make out everyday xD hahahahhah~) anyways, I told her I got it from my mom's side. Tbh, I've scarred my self a little overboard to say i protect this body of mine well, scars covered my hands ,arms and foot. but whatever, its just a tatoo but with a better story.
Perks of being a girl-you're excused from lifting heavy stuff when teachers want people to run errands.lol

shoes,backpack and a map. can't get more practical than that :P pic when I was in Japan. My sis left the navigating job to me due to her lack of interest -_-