I was frustrated.
I thought sleeping would help but apparently falling asleep proved to be way more harder than it actually is. Maybe some fresh air and a run would help I guess, I grabbed my shoes and headed out for a much needed jog. Perhaps pretending that I'm running away from the problem would help. The air was fresh and roads were washed from the downpour earlier, this might be a good place to vent out my frustration and bottled up stress. Hell ,it'll be so much more awesome if it started raining right this minute, and just let the rain wash away my worries and my fears.
The run was going just fine until .. I slipped. I was like a penguin gliding on my stomach except for the fact that I was no penguin and my body wasn't build for gliding. Fortunately, I managed to somewhat break the fall halfway with my hands and knees else I'd be gliding down the wet street . Much to my relieve, I was spared from the glide. Blood was starting to seep through my knees . However, I wasn't really concerned about it. My limbs gave out and I rolled over and stared up at the trees with my back on the ground. My mind went blank. Did I pass out? No. I wish I did, for the next thing I did was something pathetic. Something so pathetic that I can never bring myself to do in front of anyone. I had an emotional breakdown.
They say the pain in the heart goes way beyond physical pain. Its true. The pain felt emotionally makes it feel as if the pain felt physically feels like nothing at all. But as I stared down at my bloody knees, The sudden realization that I have something I can actually cry about right this instant hit me. And it hit me hard indeed because in less than a second, all the pent up stress and dread leaked out of me in the form of tears and sobs. It was quite an intense emotional training session if I might say so myself. Perhaps for once, just this once I would allow myself to be vulnerable. To let down my guards and just plainly cry my heart out. After shedding blood and tears for quite a while now, I figured I'd better stop in case my eyes scream "I JUST CRIED" to anyone I set my gaze at. But something's wrong... I couldn't bring myself to stop crying. With my hand covering my face , I went on sobbing like a lost child until I felt something furry nudging my elbow ,begging for it's presence to be acknowledged.
As my hands uncovered my face, I felt my feline friend looked straight through my weary eyes and straight into my soul with those blue eyes of his. My sobbing came to an abrupt stop followed by a stream of strayed tears down my face. I slowly sat up and wiped away my tears.
"Min? What are you doing here?" I asked while gently petting his back. He managed to sit on my lap and just gazed up at me , seemingly asking the same question as well. I'm trying to hold in the tears but crap, why does my cat have to be so darn knowing? ugh...
"Kate is fine. really. See? I'm not crying anymore.Kate is perfectly fine."
My attempt to coo the cat to believe that I was perfectly okay was an utter failure with my hoarse voice and tear stained face. Min was a know-it-all that sometimes makes it feel like such a shame that he isn't in the interrogating department sometimes.
"Perhaps I ought to face the fact that I'd have to make the decision soon by now shouldn't I ? I'd have to face the elders sooner or later for that matter. I don't even know whether or not I should seal the contract with them but to hell with it for now eh ? " No reply came from Min but I swear he was urging me to go home and patch up my wounds and take the time to make the decision. Or maybe I was over thinking it. I don't know. But hell, The elders wouldn't have chosen me for the scarring ceremony if I were nuts now, or would they?
