I grew up late in a certain way, (in the mental aspect) or to put it more precisely.. the girly aspect. Recently I started questioning myself, what have I done with my life? I just finished watching a movie and yep ._. it got me thinking. There are people who DID something in their high school years, what did I do? Sure I got king's scouts and a bunch of good friends. But in the mental aspect? nothing ._.
Most teens fall in love and all that in high school, and there's me (pathetically watching others and cursing myself for even thinking about it) lol
Most teenage girls go out with friends, go for sleepovers, do their hair and while they're doing that, I'm chopping wood somewhere in the middle of the jungle hoping that it doesn't rain. (tragic @.@) Am I saying I regret being a scout? NO. never in a billion years. But I could've invested more time in being "normal" if I weren't so.. against being all pink and girly. In reality, I like pink (will never admit it) I think family had a part in it as well, yes I promised them no relationships yada yada yada... until I graduate high school. Lol, that doesn't matter.
My family kind of brainwashed me somehow that I wasn't girly enough, I had to be prim and proper. example? My mom would say I hair looks like a broom and would ask me to cut it off. lol. which is the main reason why I tie it up the whole god dang time. Other than that,Somehow my whole family is convinced that I would crash and fall if I were to ever put on a pair of heels.( lol, about that..I kinda snapped at my sister yesterday cuz I was fed-up about the crash and fall thing, I know I'm "accident proned" sometimes but what happened to believing in me? lol , kinda regretted snapping at her though.I know she meant well)
I painted my nails, learnt how to walk in heels, read some fashion magazines, but does all that define growing up? To be honest I don't think so, if this were a game, I'm still at the tutorial part of the god damned game. Something happened recently and it led me to realize that.. you have to build yourself up to a point where when people wreck you, you can build yourself again.
As long as you're happy with yourself , what does other people's opinion matter?
Make yourself feel beautiful, its okay.If it gives you confidence, why not?
If you don't love yourself, how do you expect people to love you?
My crazy cousins :D
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