Success
What does it mean? More precisely. What does it mean to you?
Does it mean owning something expensive? Does it mean achieving the highest ranking of some organization? Does it mean earning loads of cash? Is it materialistic or is it based on spiritual needs like finding the love of your life or having a happy family. Frankly,everyone is crazy about it but what is it?
Think about it. The moment you die (or before you die), when you reflect about your life and reconsider.. was it meaningful? What is meaningful to you? What have you done when you had the time? the idea? the energy? Were you fulfilled? Did you succeed in what you believed?
Think about it. While you go to school. Then attend college and perhaps university followed by getting a job interview. Being accepted and perhaps get married. What's next? Have kids and wait for retirement and death? Aren't you no different than a processed product from the factory? Even a processed product has longer life span than you and what do you do with that time?
Think about it. You have time and yet you have no time. What are you doing with it while you still have it? What are the wonderful things that could happen if you utilize it? Take Steve Jobs for example, he said that remembering the fact that you are going to die one day is one of the most useful tools for success. Sure he changed the technology world I suppose, but what's more important is the fact that he changed lives. He changed our perspectives (well some of us).
What is your definition of a meaningful life? Materialistic things don't follow you when you die so what's the point in that? What did you do while you were given the time?
Humans are incredible. We can soar in the skies and dive in the deep blue oceans even though not biologically equipped so. We can communicate with people on the other side of the world without traveling there. We can capture moments and keep them in still pictures as if it was printed from our eyes. Take all that and show it to humans a few centuries before and they'd chase after you with a burning torch screaming "WITCH!!"
The thing is, we humans are incredible. Incredible beings and yet what are the most of us doing with our lives? Are you happy doing what you are doing now? Are you driven to live to the fullest? What's your purpose?
You don't know when is your last day. But you do know that it will come. And when it comes, have you lived up to the life you wanted? Or did you waste it by living someone else's dreams?
There is no such thing as impossible. It may be hard but it is definitely not impossible. We may not be fully equipped with the "supposed" recipe for success like money, fame and publicity. But we are gifted to be resourceful . Not to mention to be fully equipped with determination and faith which most of us don't really utilize.
Look at the wright brothers.
They flew.
Man with two legs and no wings.
Flying.
I don't see no reason why we can't do the same for our lives for what we believe in.
Love all you can, Give all you're able to, and most importantly. Live.
(Some sources and examples are from the TED vids. Check it out. Very inspirational. Others are just me having sleeping problems and the urge to get all the stuff out of my head and in to the blog :P )
Tuesday 16 September 2014
Monday 8 September 2014
STPM woes
Got my monthly test results earlier today, had to pass it to guardians to sign. 2.75 CGPA not including MUET(english) which I got 89 marks = Band 6. Studied pretty hard for monthly test and the only thing I can say is that I actually did my best already. Studied biology so hard and I almost failed because teacher made the paper according to one sub topic which I apparently was just so LUCKY to NOT study due to time restrictions. Just my luck. Next was Chemistry, I understood revised consistently for it as well. But the thing is.. understanding and applying are totally different things.
TOTALLY DIFFERENT OKAY!
Pengajian am aka general studies, I only revised a couple of times a week and managed to get A-. But I suppose I was lucky there wasn't essay for this test else I'd be doomed. Mathematics T? no comment. The darn thing is too overwhelming for me, I had to give my tutor a distress call and even he was astounded by the compact-ness of the new syllabus. Its just too overwhelming. Teacher doesn't even stop to revise because of the time restriction.
I can only say that I feel like crap right now.
I looked through the matriculation text books while in the bookstore and was pretty bothered by the vast difference between our syllabus. It probably fueled my dread even more to think that we STPM students are competing against Matriculation students who obviously have it so much more easier syllabus wise, for placement in university. One look at their Biology Chapter 1 and I could easily point out all the details and diagrams that weren't there, how detailed our syllabus is compared to theirs.Is it fair? Perhaps on some level since they don't get to go back to the comforts of their homes. But honestly? I don't think that is such a big deal. Being able to live alone comes down to your level of independence and level of maturity.
I've read all available informations about matriculation before I got rejected from it, after enrolling into form 6 and being able to compare between the two. I've become somewhat disheartened of my chances against them. Our co-curriculum grading system is totally different. It takes so much effort to score 10 whole points here and in matriculation.. competition between campus is counted as national level if not mistaken.
All in all, When something goes wrong, you have three choices. Let it break you, Let it define you or Let it make you stronger. Take your pick. As +kellyclarkson's song go.. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger :')
Note** sources are from my own views as a form 6 student going through it and after reviewing lots of blogs written by matriculation students. I even emailed them personally before. Understand before you judge, this is my point of view.
TOTALLY DIFFERENT OKAY!
Pengajian am aka general studies, I only revised a couple of times a week and managed to get A-. But I suppose I was lucky there wasn't essay for this test else I'd be doomed. Mathematics T? no comment. The darn thing is too overwhelming for me, I had to give my tutor a distress call and even he was astounded by the compact-ness of the new syllabus. Its just too overwhelming. Teacher doesn't even stop to revise because of the time restriction.
I can only say that I feel like crap right now.
I looked through the matriculation text books while in the bookstore and was pretty bothered by the vast difference between our syllabus. It probably fueled my dread even more to think that we STPM students are competing against Matriculation students who obviously have it so much more easier syllabus wise, for placement in university. One look at their Biology Chapter 1 and I could easily point out all the details and diagrams that weren't there, how detailed our syllabus is compared to theirs.
I've read all available informations about matriculation before I got rejected from it, after enrolling into form 6 and being able to compare between the two. I've become somewhat disheartened of my chances against them. Our co-curriculum grading system is totally different. It takes so much effort to score 10 whole points here and in matriculation.. competition between campus is counted as national level if not mistaken.
All in all, When something goes wrong, you have three choices. Let it break you, Let it define you or Let it make you stronger. Take your pick. As +kellyclarkson's song go.. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger :')
Note** sources are from my own views as a form 6 student going through it and after reviewing lots of blogs written by matriculation students. I even emailed them personally before. Understand before you judge, this is my point of view.
Wednesday 3 September 2014
Just a thought: To kiss a frog
We all know in the story of the frog prince, An evil witch turned the prince into a frog and the only way to turn him back to his royal highness form is nothing grand but rather priceless, it was a kiss from a royal princess.
Princesses are usually brought up to be prim and proper and unless it was snow white, I doubt any princess would simply kiss a frog. Well perhaps maybe cinderella since kissing mice wasn't a problem and don't you even start about belle from beauty and the beast okay? (They were fuzzy furry mammals) I'm talking about slimy gooey little creatures with jutting eyes and bloating throats called frogs.
Touching one is pretty much asking me to peel my skin off and disconnect all my touch receptors, What more about kissing one? (some rather gruesome images best not shared with all of you in case of copyright intentions to commit suicide)
I grew up reading the original version of the story by the Brothers Grimm where the princess throws the frog against the wall instead of kissing it and the somehow being tossed at the wall turned him back into his handsome human form. There was another version where the frog would just ask to sleep on the princess's bed every night and somehow that worked as well. In both these versions, the princess is rather reluctant when it comes to returning the favor of the frog who has oh-so kindly picked up her precious golden ball from the well.
In all honesty, I feel that most of us girls would be as well. I mean, most of us in general can't even stand looking at them and would probably throw the frog against the wall or perhaps some of us who have higher tolerance would actually bear with having a frog sleeping next to our pillow with lots of borders and fences separating us in between.(fortress made of pillows?)
In the end, no one kisses the frog. Lets switch it up a bit.
In real life, what if the frog represented some underdog person who is not what he/she seems to be. He or She may be the one true soul that sings the same song as yours, would you kiss the frog if the opportunity arises? (frogs are rather blunt people at times now aren't they? asking for a kiss directly shouldn't be much of a surprise) or would you throw him/her against the wall in disgust ? (which probably means getting a restriction order)
What are the chances of them revealing their true form? or perhaps what's inside isn't far from what's on the outside. And as the old saying goes "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince " . Not a very efficient "trial and error" method don't you think? But it all comes down to one thing..
To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question.
Princesses are usually brought up to be prim and proper and unless it was snow white, I doubt any princess would simply kiss a frog. Well perhaps maybe cinderella since kissing mice wasn't a problem and don't you even start about belle from beauty and the beast okay? (They were fuzzy furry mammals) I'm talking about slimy gooey little creatures with jutting eyes and bloating throats called frogs.
Touching one is pretty much asking me to peel my skin off and disconnect all my touch receptors, What more about kissing one? (some rather gruesome images best not shared with all of you in case of copyright intentions to commit suicide)
I grew up reading the original version of the story by the Brothers Grimm where the princess throws the frog against the wall instead of kissing it and the somehow being tossed at the wall turned him back into his handsome human form. There was another version where the frog would just ask to sleep on the princess's bed every night and somehow that worked as well. In both these versions, the princess is rather reluctant when it comes to returning the favor of the frog who has oh-so kindly picked up her precious golden ball from the well.
In all honesty, I feel that most of us girls would be as well. I mean, most of us in general can't even stand looking at them and would probably throw the frog against the wall or perhaps some of us who have higher tolerance would actually bear with having a frog sleeping next to our pillow with lots of borders and fences separating us in between.(fortress made of pillows?)
In the end, no one kisses the frog. Lets switch it up a bit.
In real life, what if the frog represented some underdog person who is not what he/she seems to be. He or She may be the one true soul that sings the same song as yours, would you kiss the frog if the opportunity arises? (frogs are rather blunt people at times now aren't they? asking for a kiss directly shouldn't be much of a surprise) or would you throw him/her against the wall in disgust ? (which probably means getting a restriction order)
What are the chances of them revealing their true form? or perhaps what's inside isn't far from what's on the outside. And as the old saying goes "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince " . Not a very efficient "trial and error" method don't you think? But it all comes down to one thing..
To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question.
 |
| Arthur Rackham's illustration to the Fairy tale of the Brothers Grimm's Frog Prince. |
Monday 1 September 2014
Life purpose
On this rather normal Sunday night, I decided to try on some clothes and perhaps pretend that I was preparing for some event instead of watching movies, reading books and studying. I do it once in a blue moon, suppose it was to satisfy my feminine side and kill boredom. On this particular night I decided I ought to see what I should wear for my cousin's wedding as an excuse to play dress up. I took a few dresses out of my wardrobe and draped it on the bed and put on one after another. I put away the ones which weren't suitable back into the closet and whilst doing that, the lab coat hanging in there caught my eye and I took it out absent minded. I put it on and looked straight into the mirror at myself wearing a lab coat.
Does this feel right? No. Not quite. I pulled up my long dark hair into a ponytail and stared at the my reflection again. How about now? Still.Not quite. But I feel much more like myself now,not like some porcelain china doll. I tried to picture myself working at a field wearing a lab coat. Hmmn.. Not very attractive but it'll do I suppose. But not quite. I read somewhere earlier today that talking to yourself actually makes you smarter, and so I did. I couldn't remember when was the last time I had a one on one with yours truly, but it started out quite entertaining I suppose. My usual hint of sarcasm wasn't here this time as I started listing the things that I love out loud as I read the sticky note I placed on my mirror a long time ago that says "what are you grateful for?". Perhaps I was answering myself and also questioning myself the same time.
As the list went on, I had mixed feelings about every thing I listed out. Some were honest and genuine, some were just materialistic things that made me feel somewhat empty. I walked around the room still in a lab coat, listing out things I love that came to mind and looked around for inspiration. I love books, I love stories, I love knowledge, I love to write, I love to make people happy, I love chocolate, I love the smell of rain and wet soil, I love to lie on my back and stare at the sky, I love romantic things like love letters and candles,I love to make use of limited resources,I love to make things look brand new, I love to play with make up, I love to tell stories, I love to travel, I love traditional clothes, I love cultures, I love tarot cards, I love cats,I love my family, I love scouts, I love my friends, I love my cats, I love to.. protect.
I thought about the Tedx vid I watched recently labeled
The idea was simple. To figure it out , just ask yourself.
Who are you?
What you did?
Who you did it for?
What those people wanted or needed?
How did they change after getting it?
I silently answered those with flashbacks and memories of myself staying true to myself and honest with what I felt was right. I loved and gave my all to what I believed. I offered protection for others,my friends, my family, my cats, in different ways but for the same reason. They needed protection in the form of company, in the form of love, in the form of honor. In any form at all. How did they change? They were relieved. They were happy. They were proud.
I thought back about my beloved late cats. All of them. Especially my blue eyed Siamese who showed and taught me so much. I realized.. I've failed to protect him. Perhaps all of them as well since I remember all the tragic deaths and disappearances of my cats. They were family and yet I've failed to protect them from being kidnapped, failed to protect them from being starved by mean people who wouldn't give them back no matter how I cried, failed to protect them from fleas, failed to protect them from poisonous rats, failed to protect them from stray dogs. Here I am in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face pathetically even though I just recovered from my crying fit earlier. I'm so sorry, so sorry I couldn't protect you.All of you. I love you so much I miss you everyday.
I miss your comforting presence. I miss looking forward to get home from school to see you. I miss calling out for you. I miss having you by my side. I miss hugging you like a teddy bear when I sleep and you'd carefully slip to the corner after you know I'm asleep. I miss your company when you know I'm sad. I miss you so dearly.
You've protected me countless times in your own way. You were like a body guard ready to act when needed, lizards and insects which terrify me were taken care of because of you. You protected my childhood. You protected me from being afraid to love. You protected me in many,many ways.
And yet I've failed to protect you. When you came home all thin and starved, My heart shattered into a million pieces when I saw the state you were in. Instead of comforting you and giving you reassurance, I felt like I was the one receiving it as you tried to calm me down from my sobs whilst seemingly saying "it's okay now, everything is fine now."I suddenly remember I swore to protect you and others with the same fate in the future . I promised.
I live to protect, to protect the ones, the things, the causes that matter to me.
It hit bulls eye for my life purpose/goals for now I suppose. How do I actually do it? I haven't actually figured it out yet but perhaps the most suitable career that would enable me to protect whilst make a living would be veterinary. I'll figure it out one way or another since, I promised.
Does this feel right? No. Not quite. I pulled up my long dark hair into a ponytail and stared at the my reflection again. How about now? Still.Not quite. But I feel much more like myself now,not like some porcelain china doll. I tried to picture myself working at a field wearing a lab coat. Hmmn.. Not very attractive but it'll do I suppose. But not quite. I read somewhere earlier today that talking to yourself actually makes you smarter, and so I did. I couldn't remember when was the last time I had a one on one with yours truly, but it started out quite entertaining I suppose. My usual hint of sarcasm wasn't here this time as I started listing the things that I love out loud as I read the sticky note I placed on my mirror a long time ago that says "what are you grateful for?". Perhaps I was answering myself and also questioning myself the same time.
As the list went on, I had mixed feelings about every thing I listed out. Some were honest and genuine, some were just materialistic things that made me feel somewhat empty. I walked around the room still in a lab coat, listing out things I love that came to mind and looked around for inspiration. I love books, I love stories, I love knowledge, I love to write, I love to make people happy, I love chocolate, I love the smell of rain and wet soil, I love to lie on my back and stare at the sky, I love romantic things like love letters and candles,I love to make use of limited resources,I love to make things look brand new, I love to play with make up, I love to tell stories, I love to travel, I love traditional clothes, I love cultures, I love tarot cards, I love cats,I love my family, I love scouts, I love my friends, I love my cats, I love to.. protect.
I thought about the Tedx vid I watched recently labeled
How to Know Your Life Purpose in 5 Minutes by Adam Leipzig
I couldn't answer any of it except for the first one then.
Who are you?
What you did?
Who you did it for?
What those people wanted or needed?
How did they change after getting it?
I silently answered those with flashbacks and memories of myself staying true to myself and honest with what I felt was right. I loved and gave my all to what I believed. I offered protection for others,my friends, my family, my cats, in different ways but for the same reason. They needed protection in the form of company, in the form of love, in the form of honor. In any form at all. How did they change? They were relieved. They were happy. They were proud.
I thought back about my beloved late cats. All of them. Especially my blue eyed Siamese who showed and taught me so much. I realized.. I've failed to protect him. Perhaps all of them as well since I remember all the tragic deaths and disappearances of my cats. They were family and yet I've failed to protect them from being kidnapped, failed to protect them from being starved by mean people who wouldn't give them back no matter how I cried, failed to protect them from fleas, failed to protect them from poisonous rats, failed to protect them from stray dogs. Here I am in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face pathetically even though I just recovered from my crying fit earlier. I'm so sorry, so sorry I couldn't protect you.All of you. I love you so much I miss you everyday.
I miss your comforting presence. I miss looking forward to get home from school to see you. I miss calling out for you. I miss having you by my side. I miss hugging you like a teddy bear when I sleep and you'd carefully slip to the corner after you know I'm asleep. I miss your company when you know I'm sad. I miss you so dearly.
You've protected me countless times in your own way. You were like a body guard ready to act when needed, lizards and insects which terrify me were taken care of because of you. You protected my childhood. You protected me from being afraid to love. You protected me in many,many ways.
And yet I've failed to protect you. When you came home all thin and starved, My heart shattered into a million pieces when I saw the state you were in. Instead of comforting you and giving you reassurance, I felt like I was the one receiving it as you tried to calm me down from my sobs whilst seemingly saying "it's okay now, everything is fine now."I suddenly remember I swore to protect you and others with the same fate in the future . I promised.
I live to protect, to protect the ones, the things, the causes that matter to me.
It hit bulls eye for my life purpose/goals for now I suppose. How do I actually do it? I haven't actually figured it out yet but perhaps the most suitable career that would enable me to protect whilst make a living would be veterinary. I'll figure it out one way or another since, I promised.
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