guess what? ^^

  I got promoted today ;) I am now officially the Discipline Officer and Treasurer of my troop ;]
The installation ceremony happened this morning, I arrived to school , clueless on what was gonna happen..  Couldn't find my forage cap this morning, I felt like cryin' , literally cry >.<

   Went to school late xD hahah~ late for meeting as usual~ when i reached, the scout master just started  giving out certificates,badges and announce the hand overs. I stared as I see seniors handing jobs over to juniors, They'd march til they are right in front of each other, The old and the new . They stand there facing each other and as the new recruit salutes the old recruit, the job is officially passed over. 
    
   And it didn't take me long to realize that the scout master just announced the post and not their names. So i thought everyone knew their post somehow or something. When the time came and our scout master announced the post as the discipline officer/treasurer,  A senior that I'm quite fond of and respect walked out, I was wondering who was the one everyone was waiting for and then .. everyone was nudging me to go out.LOL, my scout master was like..
Aiyo.. you didn't check ah?
O.O.. check what??
Check facebook la! post ady ytd~
.__. serious?!!!!

And so, with a cacat-ed march, I akwardly saluted my senior and took over his place. LOL.
hahahhahaha~ so.. em.. Discipline Officer/Treasurer...
TREASURER AH?? AIYOOOOOO... call it nicely is treasurer, its actually the job of an AH LONG ;[
Discipline officer... lolololololol    I now have the authority to shout at people and make them do pumping xD hahahaha~ Must be fun :D but I should really be strict.. X)

hahaha~ I'd be doing this to juniors next year xD

This is kinda emo..

  Todays topic.. emo topic i guess..
Well, from my opinion, I am the type of person who's a solo-ist most of the time if not given a choice.Lol. Its not that I want to be a solo-ist, it's just that.. you know whenever teacher asks everyone to form groups.Somehow I'm left out or I quit from the group because I seriously rather myself to be group-less when I see a person who is too shy to join groups and mix. And usually the people who is in the same group as me are the nice people, It kinda makes me feel bad when I see someone left out. And in the end, I end up somewhere mixing with people I'm not comfortable with ,letting that person join the group . lol.






 Haha~ which reminds me, I walk,write,eat and talk.. quite fast.. Maybe because I'm used to do stuff without people beside me , No waiting on other people to finish. The typical tomboy that walks with her hand in her pockets or grabbing on to something because she doesn't know where to put them like a normal girl. I would accompany anyone because I'm too nice to say no (I don't know how to :P) . So yeah.. the person who walks around and appears and disappears without anyone noticing until I pop out of no where again. Hahaha~ maybe because I grew up with a cat, I rather take shortcuts when walking and save time to sleep and all that~ My friends say I'm like a ghost because I don't make any sound when I walk.. >.< hahahahhahaha~

 Its actually kinda sad whenever I go out with my siblings , Since I was a kid , the view from my perspective hasn't change much.. My sisters would be hand in hand with their boyfriends/husbands and I'll be at the back silently following. Hasn't it change? well.. since they started having kids.. I feel like an outsider whenever I go out with them. I'll be at the back silently following and taking pictures for them. Never recalled much experience of people taking pictures for me though.. hahah~ laugh it off :')
who needs pictures? 

    Just a few weeks ago, I thought to myself, what am I being so emo about? And I got the solution.. I'm an attention seeker. That very realization disgusted me, no wonder I've always been the one doing stupid stuff at school.. And totally change when I get home. I don't really get much attention at home now, whenever I do, I'm being stressed out by their questions about school. Mom and my cat are like the only ones who listen to me and my stories , now that I live with my sister... doesn't really happen much anymore.. I became more and more afraid to talk day by day.It is really frightening, something spoken wrong would lead to my sisters arguing from their different point of view. Why? They are too stubborn. LISTEN. for once, LISTEN. Don't ask me to tell her what you want to say, tell her yourself xP!!  I get scolded because I needed someone to fetch me from school/tuition and you can't make it and the other sister is scolding you? How is that my fault?! . Freaking Subang Jaya tuition centre don't wait til everyone leaves, they leave first and leave you there at a dark place , do you know how sad it is to watch everyone to have someone to fetch them and not forget about them? I'm like.. always the last to go home, heck I tell people I would be fine and ask them to go home first. What do I do? play with phone lo.. whats next? gets scolded for playing with phone at a deserted place.  -.- ... kay.. 

   lol, I'm used to it anyway. Its fine :P , I'm still deciding whether I want to live with my sis after graduation or not. I'm like..cincai la, on the inside.. HELL NO! -.-ll If this keeps up I'll end up somewhere receiving counseling session ... .___. not that bad lar~~~ xD .

what hurts? heartache

 I think what hurts the most is when the person you like likes someone else. On top of that, That person comes to you for help and console treating you like a psychologist. Sad much.. Of course you will be willing to do anything to help him/her, Because you like/love that person. You'd even stay up late the whole night consoling the person 24/7, answering all the questions and telling that person he is the best person in the world and you'd choose him/her over anyone and telling him/her that person feels the same too. Thats just.. sad.. Its like.. making a hamper with all those goodies you like and wrapping it up nicely with a ribbon and giving it away to someone else T^T.
     
   Well, sad isn't it? thats life I guess..
Read bout this quote in a novel i read a long time ago.
  you don't love someone for their looks, their car, their fame.
       you love someone because he/she sings a song only you can understand.
 :') , sweet isn't it? x)
.....

Just a thought : amazing?

I watched some drama on my stay at my sister's place in penang. That day, I was being lazy, holiday ma~~ so what happened was I did my day dreaming routine.Lol.
   I mean, Drama's always have a happy ever after and they meet their true love. If you look at it in a different view, doesn't love look impossible? There's like.. 7 billion people in the world and you are one of those. From the 7 billion people out there and find one person that you like and likes you back. I mean, wow D: .. true love looks impossible considering you have to find one person you love. He/She might be at the other end of earth thinking bout you but there's no telling whether fate will bring you together. Break-ups and make-ups happen, so let it happen. If the first doesn't work out, Look at the bright side , Theres like.. 7 billion out there for you to restart your relationship with.

  One more thing, I thought bout this question when I was a kid.
       Is there a person who knows everyone and is a friend of everyone? I don't mean those kind of famous people who everyone knows but him/her doesn't know everyone. Wouldn't it be fun to be friends with everyone? Sounds awesome right? But one thing for sure you wouldn't have much privacy.

               


This sounds like what I'd do. :D *believer in love in first fight*

rants on behavior

 Normal day after school ~~~
So as usual, stayed back every wednesday for some extra classes.I had to wait for my sister to fetch me and as usual, left behind again watching everyone leave the school compound. Lol.

 Since its 3 in the afternoon, There are the afternoon session students around. But what i don't get is how come they aren't in class but out here?? Trying not to look at them directly, I was kinda disappointed. From what I gathered, They were skipping class and majority of them were chinese students. Which is very sad from my point of view as a chinese too. I mean, Seriously?? shouldn't you guys be in class or something?? its fine if you skip once or twice, I admit class is boring for me too. xP

  Well, thats not really the sad part, The main concern is.. their behavior and attitude. i SEE GIRLS WITH WEIRD MESSY HAIR THAT WAS PRACTICALLY FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE SCREAMING BEHIND MY EARS AT A BOY AND SWEARING. sad, isn't it? I mean.. gawwd.. kids.. you are 13/14.. you should be experiencing changes and trying out new interest, not skipping class and swearing bout some else's mom ==ll ... They make me feel ashamed and I wanna dedicate this song to them, Lol . yep. Just the right song for the right rant.

hate it when.. *meal edition*

 so here goes the brief update, Woke up late and missed the school van 2 days straight which meant I skipped school.Was supposed to go to school on Saturday, and instead went to Melaka with second sister. Was fun, but now my eldest sister is mad at me, hate it when people get mad at me.Especially so mad that the person doesn't even talk to you and ignore you.The worst thing is I have no idea how I'm going to ask her to fetch me from school for staybacks and tuition.. I'm doomed.. She's been ignoring me for a couple of days. Anyways, uh.. will update bout melaka when I have time *feel like it*

  Lets see...
Hate it when ...
1.People see food still on your dish and assume you don't want it and being picky.
2.People rushing you to eat this and that and thinks you are being picky, i mean whats the rush?!
   shoutouts to the aunties out there..
DON'T RUSH ME! 
I WILL EAT AND LICK THE PLATE CLEAN AND I AM NOT PICKY LIKE THOSE FELLA'S ! I KNOW YOU CAN STILL SEE FOOD ON THE PLATE! I SEE IT TOO! SO STOP ASKING ME TO EAT THIS AND THAT AND ASSUME I'M PICKY WHEN I REFUSE TO EAT THE FISH'S EYE!!
3.Please.. don't make me talk while I'm eating.Hate to talk while I'm eating, especially meals like dinner. *I don't want to accidentally bite my tongue,choke myself and spitting food everywhere,and its actually chinese manners and tradition,No talking when having meal.*
4.People asking you to get something resulting you to get your ass off the dining table with half eaten rice. *depends on circumstances*
5.Yes, I eat with chopsticks and a bowl.Don't force me to use my hand even though its camp, I brought my chopsticks and bowl myself for a reason.And yes, I know how to eat using hands but the queue to wash hands is just so damn long, why take so long when washing chopsticks are so much more easier? Another thing, I always forget to cut my nails.. so you get the picture,Unless its roti canai ,burger, chicken wing and etc, I am not gonna use my hands ;P!!

or this situation xD

what happened was ... The wall attacked me the other day~
ok fine, i ran into the wall and hurt myself, my face is now bruised.. again. Funny how I don't give a damn about my face when my friends start nagging me and asking me to take care of my face and plaster it,fix it and even see the doctor. They sound like they are scared that no one would wanna marry me if i had a scar on my face xD. Ironic right?
  It really wasn't a big deal, I mean .. since i crashed on the road before, I've experienced greater damage and even though this hurts too, the one before was way more extreme than this one. One side of my face is now slightly swollen and blueblack . So some of my friends asked me funny questions xD

friend:Does it hurt when u eat?
me:of course it hurts xP , but still have to eat to live xD same theory as being disturbed by a ghost, still have to sleep no matter what.

 well, I'm popular for being accident proned anyway~ when I told my teachers and friends I ran into a wall and bruised myself, their reaction = O.O .. AGAIN?!?
 hahahhahahahahah~ yes, again.this time.. its the wall.Not the road.

 I had this friend that started predicting what stupid stuff that i would do when i get pregnant or become a mom, which reminds me.. how am i gonna explain how i got all the scars to my kids? xD hahaha~ should be fun x)
 * just now, as i was typing this. The power supply in the house got cut off.Lol, wonder why =/

major life crisis to be continued..

   If you read my previous post -major life crisis- , this is the after part. For those who didn't, check it out if interested and it is a true story.
   so.. after that incident where a ghost disturbed me.Here comes the after part which just happened recently....

  I slept at 5 am that day since it was merdeka holiday, after surrendering to my tired eyes, I finally placed my phone down and went to sleep.What happened was that I was dreaming soon after, I forgot what happened in the dream but there was this one thing that couldn't get out of my head... I remember in front of me(in the dream) stood a girl and my eldest sister. As i looked from my eldest sister to the girl, I quickly saw the resemblance in the eyes and how she looked just like family. She had short and curly hair, fair skin, and had a small build like one of my sisters and she looked not older than her twenties.Heck, she looked younger than me. But the thing was.. she avoided eye contact with me as i stood there staring at her. By the time our eyes met, i woke up.

  But wait, it's not over yet.. Being wide awake with my eyes closed. I felt a cold chill run down my veins and I shuddered as i felt an eery feeling/sound at my ears , goosebumps were popping out like popcorns in microwave and before I knew it.. I heard a cat's growl, and what happened next was i felt two strikes of cold wind being flung at my direction.It repeated, the growl and the wind. The wind felt like it was flung at me by some cats paw or unknown object, It was COLD.
  I prayed..prayed...and prayed.. finally.. it was gone.. I woke up at 7 am.Which meant i just slept for 2 hours, I didn't feel like sleeping so I went for a jog. I couldn't seem to shrug off the feeling and felt its presence still being next to me as i jogged.

  What i did was i started talking to it/them(I.AM.NOT.INSANE.), i figured they should be my ancestors or family members since the girl i saw in the dream looked like family and they never did any harm to me except for playing pranks. I felt the presence go away as i started saying stuff that makes them happy and that there's no point disturbing me since I can't do anything. I went home after the jog and went to sleep after i showered, I figured sleep was more important xD

 So off to sleep, after i woke up .. which was around 1pm (hahaha~) , I told my sister what happened. My sister's comment: wah...so dramatic..sounds like a story leh!!
me: -.-" .. haha..hahahha... *starts laughing like mad since its true xD*

My sis called mom and told her, well yep..
Mom called me in the evening and told me she found out who they were and what they wanted as she went to ask god *according to her*
 Mom told me she had two miscarriage, one was after my older brother and one was after me. One was before me and another was after me, and there was another person--my cousin which should be 29 by now. Three of them apparently wanted nothing from me, they just wanted to play. And apparently, (from my last post i mentioned i was more ying), which made me the target of being their playmate.
If i calculate it.. they should be 29, 26 and 15 years old by now. Which somehow made what the shifu i went to correct, The shifu told me that it was 2 adults, and a kid. Well, since they are my siblings in someway, mom told me to ask them to go follow  the earth god we have at home as they refused to follow my ancestors . I have no idea what is going to happen next :P But i'm grateful that the gods heard my prayer *think they did :D*
 
Whats next? who knows? wish me luck xD