Stop and stare

 Chucked out of high school just yesterday and today I'm a 20 year old adult. The transition is so great it scares me. I get paranoid on how I'm still relying on my family for financial support and how I have no freaking idea how a working life works. Scratch that, I have no idea how to life works. Particularly the life of an adult. I want to be able to make my own decisions. I'm sick of having to ask for permission over my life. It's suffocating how my schedule is pre-fixed by someone else.

  I want to be my own self .... without you degrading what I am.
  I know how I work ... just because you don't see it doesn't mean I don't do it.
  I'm not perfect .. and I hope you know it.

My personality has been suffocating so much thanks to being held back for so long I don't even know what I like or dislike anymore.
 I'm afraid.
Afraid to do things I love.
Afraid to admit to what I love.
And that makes me petrified. There are so many things I want to do and explore.
This city, this life, this person I call me.
I can't stay caged in forever.
I need to leave.
Spread my wings.

But to do that I'd have to leave.
And leave I shall.

Time to make one last appeal, 

for the life I lead. 

Stop and stare

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared

But I've become what I can't be

Stop and stare

You start to wonder why you're here not there

And you'd give anything to get what's fair

But fair ain't what you really need

Oh, you don't need