For all I know I've been acting like a total fool of myself and in the course possibly hurting others as well with my fogged up center of attention. I've been trying to put myself first. To hold it in, speak less and consider more. I'm sincerely trying to be more humble and to fix the way I output my thoughts in a way that isn't as mean. (I must admit I am pretty ruthless at times when I comment on things)
Letting go of that unhealthy infatuation was probably a good start. I can see that he can sense that change in me as well. He has been such an adorable sport that I wonder if I might risk falling back to where I was before. It's not like you can get mad at someone for being worried about you but believe in you at the same time, someone who cares to fulfill your ridiculous idea of a Sunday night or someone who was just so genuinely selfless right? Try getting mad at that. I'm frustrated. yes I am.
But one thing for sure, I am never going back there again. I'm glad I got him to see me in a whole new different light. More than glad, I was super elated. But much more importantly, I got to pay more attention to many other things I never realized or got to appreciate. He will forever be an inspiration for me but I bid this unhealthy infatuation farewell and sincerely will work hard for a tightly bonded friendship that will last for years to come. (Anti-climatic much? you would've thought I was looking for my soul mate or husband. But hey, it's sort of the same thing no? Only without the "till death do us part" vows. Okay maybe not. Haha, To fall in love with someone who ALSO coincidentally loves you too in the same way. Kind of in the unrealistic grey area wired in my head. So we will get there, when we get there. Till then, have a nice day.)
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